Growing up, I knew that there was one overarching purpose to high school. It was the point that my parents would drill into me on a weekly basis. It was the point that my high school principal would bring up in every class meeting. It was the warning that every teacher preached at the front of the classroom on the first day of school. The point of high school is to prepare you for the real world. That is what they tell us; that is the message that they proclaim every opportunity they get.
For most of us, or maybe just for a lucky few, the real world after high school means college. College is the end goal, the big red ribbon at the end of a four-year race. College is the thing that we fight for -- it is the reason we stayed up and crammed for that calc exam, it is the reason we spent hours compiling a list of our achievements and then freaking out that the list wasn't long enough. College is the reason we all compete for the top GPA, for the most offices and titles, and as shameful as it may be, it is the reason we commit to tutoring and service work every single week. College was the thing we all worked for and competed for. We were told that high school would be enough to prepare us for this "next big step" in our lives.
The problem is that there were some really important lessons that no one bothered to teach us back then, so here is my list of the top three things I wish I had been taught in high school:
1. College is NOT the end game: As much as we are trained that we have to work and fight to get into our dream school, it is really implied that once we get there, we can achieve our dreams, no problem. Nobody tells you that you have to fight to get into your classes, your majors, and even your clubs. In high school you are made to think that there is a college application, and then four years later there is a job application. The problem is that nobody tells you about the 101 applications in between that you have to fill out to be a part of anything you want to be a part of. College is not the end game; a life after college is the end game, and you will have to fight like hell to get yourself there!
2. The teacher is NOT there to help you: Everyone should know what it is like to have that teacher in high school that is 50 steps above the rest. They are mentors and leaders, and make you want to learn. They are parents at times, confidants at others, and sometimes they are willing to cut you slack when you are having the worst of days. Despite what high schoolers everywhere think, the teachers are there to help you. They know everyone in the class by name, they know how you learn best, and they know when to reach out and offer a little bit of extra help. I have had some of the best teachers that you could ever ask for, but these phenomenal high school teachers give you false hope for college because the professors in college are not there to help you. The professors are there to make sure that you leave knowing everything that you need to know. If you want a teacher to know your name, you'd better be at the front of the room and introducing yourself every day for the first two weeks. There is no such thing as special treatment; if you miss the homework, you miss the homework no matter who you are. Teachers always told me in high school that the professors in college will not care if you show up to class, and that is true; they have way more important things to care about. But the thing they don't tell you in high school is that it is totally on you to make all of the effort, and no matter how bad your day is, you'd better turn your work in on time.
3. You can NOT do it all: We all know those people in high school who were the "Mr. and Mrs. Everything." Maybe you were that person -- the captain of every team, the president of every club, the leader of your class in GPA and service hours. Of course, we were constantly supported with phrases like, "You all are unique and have a special gift to offer the world," and I am totally not arguing with that. Every person has a strength and a weakness; in fact, everyone probably has a whole lot of both. But we all know that in high school, some people just shined brighter than everyone else. They were the beacons of the school that we all loved and secretly envied. I totally aspired to be this person, and I am sure a majority of our student body did the same. I was the girl with 10 different cords at graduation, racking up officer positions and service hours wherever I could get them. No shame. We were encouraged to be involved in everything we could be and then three more things, but once you get to college, that is just not possible. Though we all still have it hardwired into us that we have to be the best and do the most, you can not be "Mr. and Mrs. Everything" in college. There are too many clubs and too many people to do it all and be at the top all the time. The thing about college is that you can not be perfect; you cannot start at the top and stay there. In college, you start from the bottom and work your way up. You prove yourself by being at every meeting and working every philanthropy event, and that amount of work means that you have to choose where you want to invest your time and energy and then you invest it fully.
The fact of the matter is that there is no one in college who can do it all, so they might as well stop encouraging the quantity-over-quality attitude while we are all still in high school.
