Three Lessons About Being Superficial

Three Lessons About Being Superficial

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We all do it.  It’s impossible not to.  

Appearance is the first thing we normally notice when we meet a person. Below, is an eye-opening personal story that should help you realize the importance of putting an end to all negative judgment. 

In August 2013, I was moving into junior year at Kappa and $3,000 worth of my personal belongings got donated to Goodwill without my consent. That was my hard earned cash: saving up to buy shoes, bags, dresses, Lululemon apparel, hair straightener, jackets, jewelry, etc. Also, homemade gifts and accessories from friends and loved ones, as well as a $300 quilt that I sewed myself to bring with me to college. Tossed. All gone. And with these belongings tossed, so was my image.

Since that day, I slowly went from being a classy, somewhat disorganized, busy girl to a needy, selfish, mad-at-the-world-person-all-the-time kind of girl. It has been over a year, and I am still recalling more and more items that I no longer have. I still find it hard to let it go. I am thankful for the few, true friends, who stepped up and let me borrow a towel, a curling iron and even gave me some nice hand me downs. But for those who only see me, these days, in my seventh grade rain slicker and yoga pants that don’t make it past my ankles, at least now you know what I’ve been through. Maybe, you will be less likely to judge.               

I do miss feeling put together and beautiful. Image is important!  And as the fall whether comes, I start to cry a little stepping outside, remembering the faux-leather jacket my mom sent me for my birthday, freshman year that I wish I could wear again.

I miss living up to being that fun-loving, sorority girl, who has new beautiful things, and who doesn’t have a care in the world. But as with every mistake or mishap, we create a learning experience. Below are three things I learned about being superficial.

1. Looks aren’t everything! Stop the judgment. One take away that I got from this experience, is realizing how superficial I used to be. I am even more grateful for all that I do have. I have a much deeper appreciation for people, for who they are and their uniqueness. I find it disgusting how people go out of their way to mess with their hair color, go on crazy crash diets, and even buy expensive shoes, just to live up to some image they have when they are a beautiful person just the way they are. Superficial treatments or possessions won’t make you better than anybody else.

2. People’s opinions of you change, but your opinion of yourself doesn’t. People who see me at all the jobs I work might describe me as, happy, busy, and dedicated. People, who see me in class, might consider me as needy and not put together. While both may be true, neither matter. I’ve realized that I can’t please everybody. Trust me, it’s actually impossible. Everyone has a different opinion. What I can do is change my opinion of myself. If I think well of myself, and that is all that really matters.

3. The importance of a kind gesture. People might seem confident and secure on the outside, but on the inside they could be fragile; might break down and cry at any instant. There are lots of stories I could tell you to paint a better picture of why I am the way that I am. People go through a lot, and what is amazing is that we all keep going. Never underestimate the power of a hello, a random text or phone call or wishing someone a good day. Deep down, you never know what kind of battle that person is fighting, and your small gesture -- whether a hug or a smile -- could make all the difference in the world.   

Much love. Quit starting rumors, and get to know me.  xoxo















Cover Image Credit: Copyright: <a href='http://www.123rf.com/profile_icetray'>icetray / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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