We all do it.  It’s impossible not to.  

Appearance is the first thing we normally notice when we meet a person. Below, is an eye-opening personal story that should help you realize the importance of putting an end to all negative judgment. 

In August 2013, I was moving into junior year at Kappa and $3,000 worth of my personal belongings got donated to Goodwill without my consent. That was my hard earned cash: saving up to buy shoes, bags, dresses, Lululemon apparel, hair straightener, jackets, jewelry, etc. Also, homemade gifts and accessories from friends and loved ones, as well as a $300 quilt that I sewed myself to bring with me to college. Tossed. All gone. And with these belongings tossed, so was my image.

Since that day, I slowly went from being a classy, somewhat disorganized, busy girl to a needy, selfish, mad-at-the-world-person-all-the-time kind of girl. It has been over a year, and I am still recalling more and more items that I no longer have. I still find it hard to let it go. I am thankful for the few, true friends, who stepped up and let me borrow a towel, a curling iron and even gave me some nice hand me downs. But for those who only see me, these days, in my seventh grade rain slicker and yoga pants that don’t make it past my ankles, at least now you know what I’ve been through. Maybe, you will be less likely to judge.               

I do miss feeling put together and beautiful. Image is important!  And as the fall whether comes, I start to cry a little stepping outside, remembering the faux-leather jacket my mom sent me for my birthday, freshman year that I wish I could wear again.

I miss living up to being that fun-loving, sorority girl, who has new beautiful things, and who doesn’t have a care in the world. But as with every mistake or mishap, we create a learning experience. Below are three things I learned about being superficial.

1. Looks aren’t everything! Stop the judgment. One take away that I got from this experience, is realizing how superficial I used to be. I am even more grateful for all that I do have. I have a much deeper appreciation for people, for who they are and their uniqueness. I find it disgusting how people go out of their way to mess with their hair color, go on crazy crash diets, and even buy expensive shoes, just to live up to some image they have when they are a beautiful person just the way they are. Superficial treatments or possessions won’t make you better than anybody else.

2. People’s opinions of you change, but your opinion of yourself doesn’t. People who see me at all the jobs I work might describe me as, happy, busy, and dedicated. People, who see me in class, might consider me as needy and not put together. While both may be true, neither matter. I’ve realized that I can’t please everybody. Trust me, it’s actually impossible. Everyone has a different opinion. What I can do is change my opinion of myself. If I think well of myself, and that is all that really matters.

3. The importance of a kind gesture. People might seem confident and secure on the outside, but on the inside they could be fragile; might break down and cry at any instant. There are lots of stories I could tell you to paint a better picture of why I am the way that I am. People go through a lot, and what is amazing is that we all keep going. Never underestimate the power of a hello, a random text or phone call or wishing someone a good day. Deep down, you never know what kind of battle that person is fighting, and your small gesture -- whether a hug or a smile -- could make all the difference in the world.   

Much love. Quit starting rumors, and get to know me.  xoxo