2016 has been a wild ride, folks. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had some of the most stressful moments of my life this year, as well as some of the most joyful. A lot has changed since this time 2015, for me, for my family, for the whole freaking country. There are tons of tips and tricks about self-care out there, some of which are really useful when you’re not feeling totally yourself. I’m not here to add to that list, but to talk about a few changes I’ve made this year that have made a tangible positive impact on my life, in the hopes that maybe they’ll do something good for you, too,

Delete that Facebook app off your phone. Social media, the past few weeks especially, has done nothing but amplify my existing stress. Political rants, baby pictures, and engagement announcements set me increasingly on edge, and I’m just not interested. So, rather than get notification after notification to provide stressful distraction from the things I really need and want to be focused on, I deleted the app and haven’t regretted it a day since. It’s been kind of weird, not having it on my phone to check every time I get bored, but I honestly feel less overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter so much that there are always 5000 things going on and 300 people with an opinion to share when I’m no longer being notified of it all every 10 minutes.

Support your friends. Show up for them, at swim meets, performances, whatever. Be present, and marvel at how damn talented the people in your life are. It’s a nice break from the norm to take in a concert in a beautiful performance hall, or watch a play in a basement, or help a friend with a project on a Saturday afternoon. Whatever it is, show up, be present, and appreciate your friends for their creativity and abilities. It’s fun, and it makes a world of difference in the relationship.

Make time to do something that isn’t “productive.” Good God I hate that word. It’s poisoned so much of my attitude toward work, and seriously messed with my mental health. Yes, productivity is a good thing; work hard, do your best, and get things done. But “productive” became synonymous with “not sleeping” and “skipping meals to study” and “not taking time to relax” and “feeling judged every second I was doing something just for fun, just for myself.” And that sucks. Yes, we’re in school, we have assignments and projects to complete, and tests to study for, and generally a lot of shit to do. But when you can’t spend an afternoon with a friend without thinking about how long this is going to last and all the work you have to get back to and what you didn’t get done that morning… that’s a problem. Yes, sometimes you get swamped and it’s unavoidable to feel that way. But when that’s your modus operandi for getting through life, you need to check yourself. Do what you need to do to fulfill your responsibilities, but make time for yourself. To read a book, watch a movie, hang out with a friend, take a walk, FaceTime your dog, whatever. Something that isn’t for anyone else, doesn’t have to do with anything else; something that is just about joy, or relaxation, or peace.

This time of year is especially tough, so it’s important to take control of any stress and negativity you may be experiencing it. Experience it, but don’t let it consume you. May the end of your 2016 be less sucky than parts of the rest of it have been, and may you find less stress and more joy in the days ahead.