Okay, this is it. We just got the assignment yesterday, we went over it today in class, and now you’re going to get it together and bang out this paper tonight rather than the night before like you always do.
Alright, got my computer turned on, logged onto Google Docs, have my playlist ready, now let’s do it.
"Why is writing an introduction so hard?"
"Do I really need one?"
"Does a sentence count as one?"
"What’s a thesis again? Am I actually even doing this right?"
"Maybe if I just keep on typing something will come into my brain and I will be able to completely turn this paper around and make it worth something."
"Why am I lying to myself? That’s so rude." Reminiscences of Stephanie Tanner saying “How rude!” Briefly laughs to myself before realizing people are staring. "Oh crap."
"Get back to work. Focus. This can work."
"This can’t."
"This teacher didn’t explain this paper properly enough. I’m going to explode with confusion."
"Okay, deep breath, we got this. You just have to focus and the rest will come naturally to you. We know what’s going on, she did explain it well, and we’re going to type out the most amazing paper anyone and their mother has ever seen before."
"What’s a synonym for crying? Maybe I’ll just Google it to help jog my brain."
"Which Chris Pratt Tweet Are You Based On Your Favorite Tweet? Oh Buzzfeed, your quizzes sure do know the way to my heart. This shouldn’t take so long, right? I’ll just be on it, wrap it up, and then start back up on my paper again."
"I have to pee. Quick bathroom break and then it’s back to writing time! And…… break!"
"I wonder if other writers have had this bad of procrastination like me? Nah, they’re too good for that…. Right? I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to look -- would it?"
"You know, I haven’t watched 'Grey’s Anatomy' in awhile. Maybe once I finish with this paper I can watch some episodes as a treat. Or maybe if I finish this paragraph I can watch half of it and then finish the other paragraph and then finish the rest of it."
"I did a couple of sentences, that counts for something, right? Of course it does. Now lets see, what season was I on again? Oh yeah, season 11. Oh no. Oh no. That’s the season Derek dies. I don’t know if I can handle that kind of heartbreak just yet. I have a paper to do!"
"Maybe one episode won’t hurt me."
"All right idiot. Your paper’s due tomorrow and how far are you in writing it? Only on the introdu-oh wait, you didn’t even finish the intro. You only have a sentence. A sentence isn’t an introduction! We don’t have time left, we have to get this done before it’s too late."
"Ooo a snapchat from David. Maybe he’s... oh my god he’s with a puppy! Screenshot. Snap back. Okay, time to focus. We got this."
"Three paragraphs. We got this. Only two more to go and we’re safe."
"Mom’s calling. Oh god, I can’t ignore her call, she’ll keep calling. Maybe it won’t be long."
"It’s 10:30 p.m. My paper’s due at 12:00 a.m."
"Why did I do this to myself? Do I really hate myself that much? Guess so."
"Deep breath. We got this."
"11:30..."
"I hate this. Why did I do this. Why can’t I ever not procrastinate for once in my life. Why did I take this class? Why did I think this was a good idea? Why am I so-oo Clara sent me a picture of her prom dress! It’s so pr-wait. Focus."
"Thirty minutes. I can do this."
"11:45. I can’t do this. But I have to. I’m in the home stretch. I just have to keep pushing."
"How do I write a conclusion? Are they even worth any importance? I mean honestly..."
"11:59."
"I did it. I finally did it."
"I need a drink."





















