Every gym visit starts as just a thought, 'Maybe I'll go to the gym today.' Eventually the thought becomes real and you actually go or you don't make time and never go. Let's pretend that you actually go. This is usually not the case for me, but we will use our imaginations.

Let me paint you a picture you are walking into the gym, water bottle in hand, ready to get swole. You take a deep breath as you walk over to the cardio machines. ‘Do I get on a treadmill?’ you think to yourself, but shut it down as soon as you see that girl who has the speed up to eight and you know you can’t compete with that, so you go to the elliptical. You strive for 20 minutes, but you only have the will power for 15 minutes, plus a person just got on the elliptical right next to you and you can't handle that kind of pressure.

Your next stop your going to work on your abs. Not because you want a six pack, but because you get to lay on the ground for about 10 minutes and pretend you are actually doing work. You know people are watching you and judging you from a distance because you are probably doing all of the exercises wrong. You make sure no one is paying enough attention to you to know that you had only been doing the workouts for about 10 minutes and you really didn't do them to your best ability.

After your attempt at the ab workouts you go into the weight room. You look at all the muscular people doing their workouts. You start to panic, because you have no idea what you are doing because, honestly, this is like your third time at the gym. You also just locked eyes with a guy you are about 90 percent sure you just matched with on Tinder. So you decide that the weight room is just not the place you should be.

You head to the locker room to debrief from your hectic work out. You sit in the sauna for about 15 minutes. You are sitting next to an old women who thought it was necessary to not wear any clothes. She is also breathing super heavily and you are super uncomfortable. Not being able to handle it any longer, you exit the sauna.

You pack up your belongs wave goodbye to the naked old woman in the sauna. You walk past the weight room and give your Tinder match a head nod. You walk right past all of your ab workout spectators. That girl is still going at it on the treadmill. You wave bye to the receptionist and think to yourself, 'See you suckers next year.'