I used to work in retail. Well, actually I just quit my retail job. I worked there for two solid years and I felt like it was time to leave. Retail is customer service's annoying younger brother. You know, the bother who ruins everything; he snitches and outs you to the parents. He has a pizza face and he's only cute when he wants something. That is retail. Typically, a job in retail is your first job, but sometimes it turns into a dead- end- career which consists of helping rude customers and dealing with micro managing. If you are lucky, you can become general or district manager, but that opportunity only comes a dime a dozen. I swear on my mother's grave, I will never work retail again. Here a butt load of thoughts that I have had working in retail. I bet you can relate.

Before your shift:

1. Omg, I’m late for work.

2. Oh, well I’m always late. I’ma just take my time.

3. I bet my manager will say something, but at this point I don’t care.

4. I'll just clock in. I only been here for thirty minutes and I want to leave already.

5. Let me prepare my fake hellos *smiles hard*

6. My face hurts from smiling too hard.

Beginning Shift:

7. I need this place to get busy it's going so slow.

8. There is Jason. Should I say Hi? No, because once I do, he will be talking for hours.

9. Why doesn’t anyone hot work here.

10. I wish I was a dog.

11. I wonder when I can go to the beach again.

12. Man, that song is so stupid but it is stuck in my head.

13. I make money moves…. Just kidding I’m broke AF.

14. How the F*** am I still working in retail, I have a freaking bachelor’s degree.

15. Any good shows on Netflix?

16. Please do not ask me for help, please don’t look at me, please, please aww man…what is it?

17. Didn’t you decline my help previously? Break time!

18. I'm so tired of talking.

19. Let me act busy.

20. Do I really need to clock out for lunch for 30 minutes? It's too short.

21. Let me check in the break room real quick, there might be free food in there.

23. Nope, no food. Why is the refrigerator always gross?

24. Two hours until my lunch break, I'm going to walk around the store and fake check on people.

25. Oh my god, oh no, they just didn’t schedule me the next three weekends like, I don’t have a life.

26. Last month they cut my hours now they trying to give me all the hours.

27. I will call out next weekend.

28. I need to go to the gym.

29. Do people know how to pick up after themselves? Like wtf. These kids need their a** beat.

30. Wow, another baby crying. Just throw the whole baby away. Get yo kid!

31. Yeah, I am definitely calling out next weekend.

32. I can go to the bathroom for like 20 minutes- to kill time and check my Instagram.

33. I’m glad I’m not 50 years old like Susan. By the time I’m that old I’m working at my dream job. Susan’s just jealous because she’s stuck here, old a**.

34. I’m young so this is a good starter job.

35. I want to leave.

Close to end of Shift:

36. It’s it cold in here?

37. Omg, now it’s hot.

38. My feet hurt.

39. I’m hungry.

40. What should I eat for dinner.

41. I'm thinking something good, Chinese or pizza?

42. I wish I could afford to actually shop here. How can I work at corporate?

43. The store discount is terrible like only 15 percent off…..

44. Hmm, should I ask my manager If I can leave early? Yes I will. But its kind of busy today. I can just leave, Shawn calls out all the time, besides my head hurts.

45. I wont be working here forever so, I’m content with being a cashier.

46. Ugh, I hate recovery. I better not be the only one putting stuff back.

47. I’m so hungry.

48. I really need some more hours $9hr is not enough.

49. F*** it I’m working at Walmart.

50. Nah, I rather work in Target, Walmart is too ratchet.

51. I need to risk it all and become a stripper.

52. A sugar daddy would be nice--- actually it would be gross.

53. But, I don't want to sleep with him.

54. I wonder who can work for me this weekend? Shift-trade anybody. I would ask Mary, She asked me last time so she owes me. I’m not asking Mike, he always asking someone to trade shifts but he won’t trade if someone ask him.

55. Jessica could have traded shifts with me it ain't like she do sh**. She's lying, she did not have food poisoning last night.

56. Yo, I’m really about to punch this customer in this face. But, instead I’ll fake smile again. *smiles hard*

57. No, I do not want to cover your break Jessica.

58. Do you ever cover mine? I didn't think so. Out my face!

59. Another customer with a refund. Listen, we do not do returns after 15 days. We cannot return it. It does not matter if you haven’t opened it. Our store policy states you have 15 days to return. Fine, speak to my manager he just going to tell you the same thing I said. Like, why waste your time?

60. Don't make me hurt your feelings. *smile hard*

61. Take several seats, you lucky I got a job.

62. Why are customers so entitled and annoying.

63. Yes, I will call my manager.

64. Thank God my shift is almost over.

End of Shift

65. This customer better not come in here we are about to close wtf.

66. My manager better not ask me to stay later. Because the answer is no!

67. Yes, I cleaned my aisles. Can I go home now?

68. My husband better be rich.

69. I'm so over this!

70. See you guys next weekend! *smiles hard*