For the people that have spent any extended amount of time in Florida, it is clear that no one in the state knows how to drive. Whether it be braking for absolutely no reason, going 15 under the speed limit, or whizzing by you like "The Fast and Furious," you'll encounter some kind of bad driving on your way from point A to point B.
Being a native Floridian, I've witnessed just about everything. I even know that most people in my area took their driver's test within the safe, non-realistic confines of a parking lot and adjoining backroad. I thought about this every time as I was driving, and questioned why this was allowed.
Fair warning, my never before written down road rage is about to be unleashed. If you are easily offended, turn back now. Also, this will be a PG-13 version since my grandparents may read this. Feel free to substitute expletives at any given point.
As a Florida driver, you may experience these thoughts at some point during your drive.
1. The light is green. Go.
2. Get off your phone and drive!
3. Please, go a little slower, I'm not in a rush or anything.
4. Are you even going the speed limit?
5. WHY ARE YOU GOING 15 UNDER? GET OFF THE ROAD!
6. Nice turn signal.
7. Oh OK, let's slam on our brakes.
8. There's not even anyone in front of you, what was the point of that?
9. There's only two lanes. Both of you can't go the same speed side by side.
10. I'm going 10 over, is that not fast enough for you?
11. Oh no, please, cut me off.
12. You don't know where you're going do you?
13. Tourists.
14. Yes, because cutting across four lanes of traffic is totally safe. Enjoy Disney.
15. You don't need to stop to turn right. You really don't.
16. It's just rain. No need to freak out.
17. Now you're all going to drive slow. Fanfreakingtastic.
18. Are you kidding me?!
19. Don't even think about cutting the line.
20. Oh good! I've always wanted to be stuck at an intersection because you idiots blocked it.
21. That's illegal by the way.
22. GAS PEDAL! PUSH IT!
23. The light is green...
24. And there's more traffic. Awesome.
25. Do any of you know how to drive? Any at all?
25. Stop riding my tail.
26. If you hit me, you're dead.
27. It's dark out, turn on your lights.
28. No, not your brights.
29. I'm surrounded by idiots.
30. You're in the fast lane, going under the speed limit. Makes sense.
31. Move over!
32. There's no reason for you to slow down. None at all.
33. WHAT
34. ARE
35. YOU
36. DOING?!
37. I'm done.
38. Aaaaaand I can't park. Awesome.
39. I hate everyone.
Drive safely!
