Let's do this.
We're doing this.
Do we want to do this?
Whatever, we're here.
I think that employee is judging me because he doesn't recognize me.
It hasn't been that long.
Has it?
And everyone is staring.
How do you stare while running on the treadmill at the same time?
I would fall.
I have fallen while doing that.
And there's naked elderly people in the locker room again.
Will my body look like that when I am old?
*shudder*
Oh look, the only open locker in the entire room was the last one I looked in. Nice.
Time to venture through the land of treadmills, elliptical machines and people that heart cardio.
How is she running that fast?
I wonder what playlist she's listening to.
Why isn't the Kardashians on?
Because watching golf is motivating while you're running, obviously.
If I pick a treadmill in the front, I won't have to watch all the marathon runners in front of me, right?
But then all the marathon runners will be behind me.
Judging me. On my minimal miles and negative incline.
Well Friends is on, so for sure picking one in the front.
No matter how funny Chandler is, we must not laugh out loud while running.
Crap, I laughed.
I bet the marathon runners didn't laugh.
Chandler, stop with the satirical humor I can't handle it while keeping a steady pace and attempting to breath.
Wow, I've already burned all these calories and didn't even realize it because I was distracted by the TV.
Now I'm just staring at the calorie count.
It's not going so fast anymore.
Maybe if I increase the speed and incline they will move faster.
Nope.
Nope.
Turn that back down.
How is that girl still running so fast??
Skip this song.
And that song.
And that.
Why do I have so much country on this playlist?
Okay, I'd say that was a good enough run for today.
So what do I do with myself now?
I'll just go get a mat and move around on it and pretend I know what I'm doing.
Excuse me.
Seriously, excuse me?!
Pardon me, girl jumping off the walls.
I wonder if I could do that.
The answer is no. I cannot.
I'll just sit here and pretend to stretch while I look up a workout.
I wonder if it looks like I'm flailing around as much as I feel like I'm flailing around.
It definitely does.
What does that machine do?
And that one? And that one, and that one, and that one.
I'm going to avoid those.
This one looks easy enough.
Oh my God all my muscles are on fire.
Do I have muscles to be on fire yet?
Why does everyone look so calm?
Are there muscles not on fire?
Am I toned yet?
Why am I so sweaty?
Why is everyone else not this sweaty?
Ew, I didn't know I could sweat there.
Okay, I'd say that was enough exertion for the month day.
That was actually refreshing.
All the toxins are leaving my body.
I could start a blog.
Maybe I'll eat kale when I get home.
Maybe I'll start coming here more often.
Maybe I'll become a "gym rat".
Maybe...
