Anxiety is my shadow; sometimes out of sight, but never far behind me.

Anxiety is my drug- or maybe it's the side effect of an even bigger problem?

I worry. I worry until my palms are cold, my throat is hot, and my stomach heaves all because I realize that there are things that are simply out of my control.

The "what if's" pound in my ears. The "how comes?" echo in my skull. The "then what's?" scream in my chest. Yet a still, small voice in my soul whispers: Be still.

Psalm 46:10 Says

"Be still and know that I am God"

For a long, long time this scripture terrified me. I'm a busy bee, filling my mind with tasks so that maybe there won't be any room left for anxiety. Sometimes I think that if I run fast enough that anxiety can't catch me. The idea of still sounding a lot like surrender. It seems like the longer I'm still in bed, the more thoughts run through my head. That's when anxiety roars the loudest. Thankfully, my God is the Lion of Judah- and His presence roars louder than anxiety, and it is safe to surrender my worries to Him.

If we read chapter 46 in its entirety, we become aware of the Almighty power of God. So much of anxiety is a direct result of us taking on a role that isn't ours. Our "what ifs", "oh no's", and "then what's" all center around our own inefficiency to control our circumstance. Rather than mourn the murkiness of our future, we need to recognize that these are the moments that should be leading us to glorify God.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea" Psalm 46:1-2

Anxiety feeds off of our audacity to think that we have control over our circumstances, and then our despair when the reality of our helplessness sets in. Faith, however, works in a way that is beautifully different. It is wise enough to know that things WILL fall apart, but when the things that we once thought were solid begin to sink? It's ok. They were not the foundation we build our lives upon.

Anxiety may be my shadow, but God is the Father of lights (James 1:17). In Him, there is no shadow of darkness. God is consistent, powerful, and pure. He is so much stronger than anxiety.

Rest in the knowledge that God is bigger than the battle within your mind. Don't run away from your conflict, hand them over to Someone who loves you and is able to give you rest.

Be still.