In my second semester of freshman year I became increasingly aware of the false expectations I had for my first semester in college. The more I thought about it, the more amusing these thoughts seemed. Here are just a few of the hilarious ideas that crossed my mind in the months before move in day.
1. I will maintain my high school GPA in college. Oh, sweetie. No you most certainly will not.
2. Ramen and pizza will never get old.Around the third day of the classic ramen and pizza diet it will probably get old. And I can assure you as much as I love pizza, all good things must come to an end.
3.OMG I can’t wait to visit my high school bffs monthly!To be fair you all tried to make it work at first. It’s just that you can’t stand the thought of missing out on a party, or a home football game, or even getting to see that cute boy two floors below you.
4. I love to read! I’m sure I can keep up with all the weekly readings.I like the optimism kid; too bad you’ll fall behind in the first two weeks and never come close to recovering.
5. Wait I’m basically an adult now. No. You’re basically an eight-year-old left home alone for the first time.
6. Hall bathrooms won’t be that bad.They will be worse. Much worse. You will adapt your shower preferences to maximize the chances of getting a clean shower. You will also quickly learn from horrific experience, Sunday night showers are not an option.
7. The gym is so close! I can’t wait to develop a great workout routine.You will be amazed just how infrequent your gym trips are and just how much progress you make on the latest Netflix series.
8. I’m not really sure if I want to be a part of “Greek Life.”Go to one tailgate. Sit in class next to a pledge in his blazer and bowtie. Attend a rush party or two. Meet one sweet sorority girl. Go to a date function or a cocktail. Change your mind yet?
9. “All nighters” are just a lack of preparation. I’m sure I’ll never experience one.HA…HA…HA.
10. I will never wear a lanyard! You are a freshman; therefore, you will wear a lanyard at some point first semester even if it’s just for a day. Accept it. Learn from it. Move on.
11. I will not be that kid that has to talk to their parents 24/7.You will call your mom every other day, send your dad links to funny memes, and snapchat your sister hundreds of times, but you will want to cry at the thought of not seeing them for another month.
12. 15 washers and dryers in the laundry room! This mean I’ll never have to worry about fighting to wash my clothes. You will shamelessly cut off those who stand between you and the last free dryer. You’ll glare at people using more than two washers. And you will develop a talent for stealthily removing random dry clothes as soon as the timer buzzes.
13. I’ll marry rich.Shoot for the moon baby girl. Best of luck finding Mr. Right.
14. The keys to my room will always be on me. I’ll never have to go to the service desk for a spare! Not one, not twice, but three times will you somehow manage to lock your keys in your room throughout the first semester. Congrats, I think that may be a new record.
15. I already have my best friends.New best friends are a whole different kind of fun. It's weird to be with people that don't know every detail of your life but now you can tell story after story to fresh ears. You don't remember when or how but suddenly you realize you've formed your own little niche with your own group of people and it's pretty great to have that group.
16. I can set my alarm, wake up early, and look super cute for all of my classes.Or you can wear a hat for the third day in a row. That works too.
17.The freshman fifteen is a myth. You will continue to scoff as you eat another Insomnia cookie while downing a Cookout milkshake after the dinning hall buffet you finished just a few hours earlier. By the time you realize this fatal myth is in fact a reality, you’re two rows deep in a container of Oreos wondering how you got here.
18. Naps are great! Naps are great. I see no problem here, carry on.
19. I don’t really understand the point of joining a sorority.Shut up, yes you do. There is a part of you that cannot help but feel overwhelming excitement on bid day as you become a part of the oversized t-shirt wearing, big/little squealing, super friendly girl power family that is your sorority.
20. Coffee is a great pick me up.Coffee is a necessity. It is no longer a cute cup with your name and chocolate toppings. It will be that third cup you rapidly fire from the Keurig and chug on the way to class in order to maintain your spirit and keep your eyes open. A day without coffee is a wasted day. Do not, under any circumstances, let yourself run out of this precious beverage.
21. I’m not worried, I have four whole years to... Do what? Do it now. Go for it. You’re already down a whole semester, only seven more to go! This is actually the time of your life. Do the things you always wanted. You will never be this young again. Other cliché thoughts dance through my head but it’s the truth.
College is probably the coolest thing that’s happened to me and I’ve only been here for six months. I’m pretty sure I still have a lot of other expectations that will be proved wrong over the next few semesters but hey I’ve learned a lot so far!
