It's the night before a big paper is do. You told yourself you wouldn't procrastinate this time. But here you are, 3 cups of coffee deep with a blank screen taunting you. You are wondering what on Earth possessed you to do this to yourself. You've known about this paper and the deadline for so long, yet you could never motivate yourself to start. As you stare at your reflection on this blank white word document, titled with your name and course, some thoughts may be going through your mind:
1. Why is writing papers even a thing? It's not like that's my major or anything, c'mon.
2. Is my professor trying to ruin my life?
3. I should have another coffee before starting. That will probably motivate me...
4. Okay, so maybe coffee won't motivate me, but a break from writing will...
5. OOOH, FACEBOOK!!
6. How did I get to my friend's great aunt's cousin's Facebook page?
7. What are some good new shows on Netflix? Maybe if I research those, I have an excuse as to why I can't research for my paper.
8. WHY DIDN'T I START THIS EARLIER?
9. Maybe I'll walk out in front of a university vehicle tomorrow, free tuition and an excuse from my paper. It's a win-win.
10. I wonder if I can be the next Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. If they dropped out of college, I can do it too.
11. Am I hungry or am I just procrastinating this paper?
12. If I make the font just a little bigger, will it really be that noticeable? Maybe I'll try out some different fonts, Times New Roman is just not doing it.
13. Maybe I'll adjust the spacing too. That'll make it look longer.
14. They should invent a machine that writes papers for you. It's 2015. C'mon people, we should have this invented already.
15. That's it, I'm dropping out and running away to someplace warm. Maybe I'll become a stripper, that'll work.
16. Is it the weekend yet?
17. I need a drink. F. Scott Fitzgerald got his motivation from alcohol, I can, too.
18. One more sentence and then it's break time.
19. SNACKS!!!!!!!
20. It's one a.m. and I hate myself.
21. Okay okay, some self motivation here: I can do this, I'm gonna kick this paper's butt.
22. I can't even, nope, I'm done. I refuse to write the rest of this paper.
23. Why did I want to come to college?
24. Almost done, almost done, almost done...... *slaps face to stay awake*
25. I will never procrastinate again.
Let's be real, we all have some of these thoughts while writing a paper. It's a miserable, miserable process. The feeling when you finish is like no other. However, as much as we tell ourselves we will never procrastinate again, that always turns out to be a lie.
