Thoughts On Being A Twin In Today’s Society

I am an identical twin; it legitimately is a part of who I am. And many people, actually most people, just have to ask, “What’s it like being a twin?” Well, here’s your answer…

1. I have a best friend 24/7.

Yup, my twin Savannah is my best friend day and night, through thick and thin, in sickness and health, until death does us part. Alright, those are definitely marriage vows, but that’s honestly what it feels like to be a twin.

Sometimes I feel like we are a married couple and that we’ll never escape each other. But, more often than not, she helps me get ready for work; she listens to my stories (hundreds of times, actually); she is a true believer in my dreams; she will stay up until 3 am just to calm me down when I’m crying for no particular reason; she will argue with me and disagree with me, but she has never left me when I needed her most. My twin loves me when I can barely love myself. What’s more, my twin sticks up for me when I am unable to.

Here’s a fun story: once we were at a party and a sorority girl tried fighting me. Instead of using my “great” self-defense skills, my sister was there to defend me…literally. No one else even made a move to help me out. But my sister was there to push the girl away from me before she ever laid a finger on me. So I guess you can say not only do I have a best friend, but she’s a personal bodyguard as well.

2. People don’t know how to handle themselves around twins.

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Savannah and I always joke about how we would be millionaires, probably even billionaires, if we had a dollar or let alone a penny for every single time someone gave us “the look” or asked if we were twins.

Let’s face it, identical twins look alike. But, it is not a rare phenomenon to see two identical people nowadays. Though for whatever reason, when my sister and I are together (which is basically on a daily basis), people freak out.

People will look back and forth between us numerous times (which we call “the look”) and try to not make it obvious. But most of the time, they can’t help themselves and they have to ask, “Am I seeing double?” to which we joke, “Of course you are…we don’t even know each other; we just met today!”

Savannah recently started working with me at my job. Since working with each other, which we’ve never done before, the questions “Are you two related” or “Are you guys sisters” or “Are you twins” has become so common that we decided to keep track. Savannah has worked a total of six days with me and thus far, we have been asked 74 times whether or not we are twins. That is over 12 times a day…

The greatest part about how alike we look is that Savannah and I do not see our resemblances to each other. Yea, I know it sounds crazy—but we don’t see identical twins when we look in the mirror; we just see two individuals that are sisters.

3. Female twins are sexualized.

Alright, I know that sounds weird. But, hear me out.

Unfortunately, there are some negative aspects to being a twin. No, it doesn’t have to do with whether or not Savannah tries to act like she’s older than me. It actually has to do with how society sexualizes females and how being twins is greatly impacted by that.

Throughout our lives, we have always struggled to be two separate individuals. But during high school, Savannah and I experienced many males choosing one twin over the other for certain physical qualities. Guys would also try to figure out who’s the “easier” twin (as they liked to call it) instead of getting to know us and our personalities. Many males wanted us for our bodies and so that they could say they “got with a twin.” This was simply for their social image; guys thought it would be cool to say they “got with a twin” when it only makes them look like a douchebag. It created somewhat of a conflict between Savannah and me; we felt like males were making the reality of being a twin into a sexualized thing rather than something to appreciate, not take advantage of.

In college, there are numerous males who attempt to talk to the both of us. There are males who try to talk to the other twin after the first twin decided to not get to know them. Instead of liking us for our taste in music or our hobbies, being twins has caused us to sometimes feel as though our bodies are more important than who we are as individuals.

4. There is a certain connection between Savannah and I.

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It is so hard to explain unless you are a twin. Many twins have stated that they feel it too: there is an unheard and unseen connection between twins. They know what the other twin is thinking and feeling no matter what. Savannah and I feel it to such an extreme that sometimes, it freaks us out.

When we are out in public, we can look at each other and know exactly what the other twin is thinking about. Some people may not believe it, but Savannah and I don’t have to verbalize what our current thoughts are in a certain situation. If we see a guy when we are at the grocery store, we can look at each other and know whether or not we both think he is attractive. If we meet new people at a party, we can always agree as to whether or not these people are potential friends.

Can you imagine having a connection with someone so deep you don’t even to have to talk about it to know it’s there? Our mom has said that when we were babies, we would talk to each other in “our own language.” We were always making sounds to each other and we slept on each other’s backs in a crib for the longest time (me in the blue, Savannah in the pink). Savannah and I have always been on the same page, even if not in the same room.

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I could write about the perks (and some downfalls) of being a twin for the rest of my life. Savannah is my rock and when I can’t fathom moving forward with my life, Savannah keeps me going. Yes, there have been times where we argued for hours; there have been times where we didn’t talk for half the day. Savannah has hurt me and I have hurt her. But, if I ever saw Savannah in danger, there would be no hesitation—I would save her before I saved myself. People ask what it’s like to be a twin and I ask, “What’s it like to not have a twin? What’s it like to not have someone love you to unfathomable depths? What it’s like to not have someone know you like the back of their hand?” When the world shuts me out and when I feel myself losing hope, I have Savannah. And that is the greatest gift I could ever ask for.