Another week of “The Bachelor.” Another two hours of my life wasted. My boyfriend, Zach, and I do get some laughs in. If anything, it provides us with some entertainment.

Here are a few thoughts I had while watching this week’s episode:

1. Ughhh why do we watch this show again?
2. Oh yeah, Rose Buddies.
3. Okay, hometowns, let’s do this.
4. These recaps are so dramatic.
5. RISTINAAAAA. My heart is still broken.
6. Vanessa, where have you been?!
7. Why can’t you count the roses, Corn?
8. We get to meet Raquel!!
9. Alright, Raven is up first!
10. She workin that four-wheeler.
11. Ooh the police?!
12. She got him hahaha.
13. They about to get ~dirty~
14. She would be wearing a white t-shirt.
15. Awe Raven’s daddy is cancer-free <3
16. Raven, you are too good for Nick.
17. Nick is having the talk with her dad!
18. Well, we know Rachel doesn’t end up with Nick so let’s see where this goes.
19. Nick is actually dressed up for once.
20. Oh, they going to church!
21. Nick looks soooo uncomfortable in that church.
22. Nick is low-key ecstatic that he isn’t going to meet her dad this time.
23. Of course, Nick doesn’t know what okra is.
24. It’s about to get real right now with Rachel’s older sister and her husband.
25. “You are a white.”
26. Nothing too shocking with Rachel’s family, but he didn’t have the talk with her mom.
27. HERE WE GO WITH CORN.
28. WTF are her shoes?!
29. She is taking him shopping, how surprising.
30. Corn would be on a first name basis with all the stores.
31. *gives Zach the look* when Nick walks out of the dressing room
32. “It’s a classic piece.”
33. THREE GRAND. Nick, you better get a job, bro, if you gonna be with Corn.
34. OH NO SHE DIDN’T JUST TELL HIM THE THREE MAGIC WORDS.
35. Best of all, Raquel!!!
36. No cheese pasta?!
37. Nick passed the olive test, y’all.
38. You better not make Raquel mad, Nick.
39. Yeah, good question, Dad, what is Nick’s profession?
40. I don’t think Nick can handle that scotch.
41. Corn’s daddy is worried that Nick won’t be able to afford Corn’s shopping habits.
42. Nick is having the talk!
43. I feel like they saved the most dramatic hometown visit for last.
44. They are going to meet Vanessa’s students!
45. *tries not to cry*
46. Nick does not deserve Vanessa at all.
47. Ooh Nick gets to meet both sides of her family.
48. Vanessa’s aunt is skeptical af.
49. Nick doesn’t seem prepared for all these questions.
50. Hahaha “Have you spoken about real things?” Get em, girl.
51. Her sister and brother really care about Vanessa and it is so sweet.
52. Vanessa’s dad gets right to it!
53. Dad is giving Nick that side eye.
54. No blessing from Dad! You go, Dad!
55. Does her family know how this show works?
56. Pity blessing from Dad.
57. Vanessa is NOT happy that Nick asked the other girls’ parents for their blessing.
58. It’s too late for us to see the rose ceremony.
59. Corn thinks she is safe since she bought him a new outfit.
60. Wait, does Vanessa know how this show works?
61. Who is that?!
62. Oh, Andi. Nick has talked about her (this is the first season of this show I have watched).
63. Nick has trouble speaking English, you really think he is going to be able to speak Italian?
64. I miss Chris Harrison.
65. The bloopers haven’t been as good since Alexis left.