As a young person slightly below the drinking age, life starts to finally come together. I realize that the next 10 years will probably be the most productive period in my life, and yet I still have no idea what I will do. I try to plan, but like writing an essay on a topic in a book you didn’t read, it’s fairly impossible. Waiting and seeing what happens isn’t an option either, as in two years, I need a job.
At this point in the timeline, it’s fairly common to go on a “soul-searching” quest to find yourself. You make a list and at the end, you find out who you are.
It should look something like this:
- Who am I?
- What do I want?
- What am I going to do with my life?
Of course, lists of this kind are best compared to Penrose Stairs, the endless staircase that starts and ends in itself, impossible to begin. The conundrum comes from the fact that if I had answers to the questions from the list, then I would already have no need to write it.
With that in mind, the second best option defaults to “waiting and seeing” what I prefer most in life. In other words, doing nothing and having my life’s work find me. Many people do this too. They choose a default career and default to that career. They make friends from the people they see most often, and become where they are.
Last of all comes the tried and true methods, doing new activities, trying out new hobbies, traveling to new places, and exploring new ideas. To have a starting point, a person will pick out activities that sound interesting to him or her, and experiment, discarding and wearing.
It’s also fun to mix and match ideals, picking whichever fit your own personal philosophy.
In the end though, finding yourself does not result from shooting out feelers, “shotgun style.” It also isn’t a journey that ends in one simple destination. The growth of a person evolves throughout the lifetime and never ends.
The true method involves anchoring oneself in reality.
It’s simple. Ask yourself what you want to do tomorrow. Make a new list.
- What do I want to do before I go to sleep tomorrow?
- Who is the person I see in my head, and how close is s/he to me?
- What am I not doing because I am afraid of failing?
- How do I currently see the world?
After daydreaming about lists and ideals, there should be follow-up action.
The only life experience that gives you an idea of what you want in life is life experience. So go out and see the world. Find out what you really like and don’t like. Discard all your lists and live.
Because at the end of the day, what you actually do is what matters.
