I feel like I am stuck somewhere between a damsel in distress and the radical feminist who hates on every aspect of the male population. I agree that I, as a woman, want equal rights as a man in all aspects of life. Just because I want equality does not mean that I do not want a gentleman.
Growing up on my family farm, independence was a learned behavior that was quickly engrained into my head at a very young age. The length of my responsibilities further fed this desire to be helpful. This desire was directly linked to being independent. Independence meant that I could complete tasks all by myself. Completing these duties meant one less thing on my dad’s workaholic, overloaded plate. Also, being the daddy’s girl I was, and still am, this was one of my favorite things to do. Having a strong willed and determined mother only added to the mis. Fueling the desire to be independent.
Yes, I can change a flat tire. Yes, I can carry this heavy load. Yes, I am somewhat handy and could probably fix that. Yes, I can get my own trash. Yes, I am fully capable of opening my own door. But all of that does not mean that I don’t want a gentleman to offer to do it for me.
I know it is often times pride, when I say “No thanks, I’ve got it.” I feel like allowing someone to do my stuff makes me seem weak or lazy. I hate being a burden or a bother so doing things all by myself is just the way my brain is wired. Sometimes it’s just easier for me to do it by myself, or at least it is more satisfying that way. But as soon as those words slip out of my mouth, I hear my mom’s voice in the back of my head say “Brooke Nicole, don’t be such a ball buster. Allow that boy to be a gentleman.”
For all of you ladies out there who are strong willed, stubborn, independent women; let a man be a gentleman. Allow him to do things for you despite the amount of pride you have or the length of the list of things to “prove”. Do not rob a guy of his joy of simply being a servant and portraying Christ’s love, even if it may be in this small way. Give him opportunities to serve you so that he has had enough practice to one day serve his wife. Just because a man offers to help you does not mean he is trying to be sexist or disrespect you. He is simply trying to be helpful. Ladies, just because you allow him to do something nice for you does not make you any less of an independent woman.
Guys, be patient with us. Continue to offer and maybe one day we will appreciate that kind gesture. Maybe we will even begin to realize how nice it is and allow you continue doing so for us. I honestly think we gals are just trying to impress you. So take our trash when you leave or grab the door for us. Let us know that chivalry is not dead because, deep down, we are all hopeless romantics anyway.
