There's no secret that college students like to party. By the time Friday rolls around, the parties are starting on every block. After my fair share of the college party scene, there are a few things I've realized about drunk people. These are often thoughts that run through my head on a night out.
1. You are completely in my bubble. Why are you in my bubble?
I'm not entirely sure yet what it is about alcohol that makes people want to be so close together but I've found my bubble getting violated more times than I can count. People just lose all sense of personal space.
2. Why are you screaming? You're right next to me.
Regardless of the fact that there's loud, thumping music blaring from the speakers, you do understand that you're still standing right next to me, correct? I can hear you just fine. However, I won't be able to hear at all after you shatter my eardrum.
3. Why are you arguing right now? You're wrong.
I'm convinced the only justifiable excuse for this situation is alcohol. Everybody becomes right when they're drunk. I can't count the number of arguments I've overheard where one or both people are completely wrong and are too stubborn to give up and acknowledge they're wrong. It is good comedy, though.
4. Oh my god, what are you doing? That's a terrible idea.
Alcohol does some funny things to people. For example, it can promote one's confidence. All of a sudden, there's some guy at the party who can do this insanely cool double backflip off a couch and land it or some girl who can do the roundoff back handspring she did in a tumbling routine from 8th grade. I can't help but shake my head as I watch the crazy antics play out for the worst.
5. Why are you offering to buy all your friends another round? You're so going to regret this in the morning.
The insane amounts of money people go through when they're drunk blows my mind. Does anybody ever wake up the next morning and wonder where the $100 they had in their checking account went after just one night?
6. Why are you telling me this really personal information that you would never tell me sober?
Drunk people often like to share all of their thoughts and feelings, regardless of who they're sharing with. There have been times that I just walk away thinking, "I cannot believe they told me that. Do they realize what they just told me?"
7. Why are you texting your ex? That is going nowhere good.
One of the stupidest and most common drunken mistakes. Never text your ex drunk. Has this actually played out successfully for anyone? Let me know, I'm curious.
8. Where... did you... even get that?
The random things people find and carry around while drunk baffles me. Where did you find a construction cone? Where did you get a whole box of Cheez-Its? Nobody knows.
9. What ARE those dance moves?
I know everybody has that one awkward dance move that somebody at some point has inevitably told you never to do again. But some people, let me tell you. They just don't know how strange they look doing whatever move they're doing... or attempting. But hey, you get down. As long as you're having a good time, right?
10. Do you even know the words to this song?
It's so obvious when someone drunk is trying to sing along to a song that they think they know and they're just stumbling over all the words until they hit a part they recognize. Of course, this is the only part they shout the lyrics to.
Drunken college students make for interesting stories the morning after... or the night of. But even with all the weird quirks and insane things that go on that make these thoughts run through my mind, I wouldn't trade these people for the world (or at least most of them).
