You are wrong. My God, you are wrong if you think that if you disappear, if you take your own life, you won’t be missed.
I know what you might say. You might tell me that I have no idea what I’m talking about, that I don’t know what it feels like to have depression or be sad or feel worthless and you’re right, I don’t have that experience. But I have seen it around me.
I have seen how depression consumes your entire being. I have seen how, for some, everyday is a battle; getting up in the morning is one of the hardest struggles you’ll face with each day. There are going to be moments when there is absolutely no explanation for your sadness. There are going to be moments when you can’t stand to look in the mirror at your own reflection. There are going to be moments when you will want to give up.
These are the moments that you need to fight. You need to fight that shadow that is trying to take over your mind. You need to fight for the happiness that you deserve. You need to fight for the day when you can honestly look at yourself and say “I feel better.”
Over the past two weeks, I have seen two stories about two different teenagers from two different states who took their own lives. I saw the posts about both of these kids. I was contacted by someone who knew one of the people and saw the way he hurt when he learned he would never see this boy again.
I know that I don’t understand what you are going through and I can’t understand how you feel. Please understand what I am about to tell you.
You can get help. There is always help. I know that all you are feeling is helpless and empty, but find someone who you can talk to. Find support. Keep living.
If you think for one second that you won’t be missed if you take your own life, you have neglected to see the love that surrounds you.
If you think your parents are going to move on and be fine without you, they won’t be. You are their child and you being physically gone from their lives won’t change that. It will only make them ponder what they could’ve done better, what they could have said to make you stay.
If you think for one second that you’re little/older brother/sister won’t sit in your room for hours on end, wondering where you are and how this happened, you’re wrong.
If you think that your house is going to be full of laughter, joy and comfort, you’re wrong. The house will be quiet, depressing and broken without you there and do you know why? Because you were that laughter, joy and comfort that made your house a home.
If you think that your dog isn’t going to be sitting at the end of the driveway waiting for you to get off the bus or pull in in your car, you’re wrong. He will wait for days out of loyalty, but he won’t understand why you never came back to him. He will howl to the sky, longing for your presence.
If you think that your best friend isn’t going to cry everyday, wear the clothes you gave her/him, or think of you when they encounter everything that reminds him/her of you, you’re wrong. Each day will be an uphill fight and once they think they have reached the top of the mountain, have finally had a good day without you in their lives, they will see something that reminds them of you, and they will fall back down, having to restart their climb again.
No one will understand why you are gone. Your parents will wonder if they should have checked in with you more to see if you were doing okay. Your sister/brother will wonder if only they had made you smile or laugh the day before you left him/her, you would still be here. Your best friend will try to make new friends, wondering if he/she is betraying your friendship, but none of them will compare to you. Your dog will wonder if, had they barked or wagged their tail more, you would’ve stayed to walk him once again.
To the people who think that they won’t be missed. You will be.
