I’ve never had a boyfriend. But I would love to have one when the time is right.

I guess you could call me a hopeless romantic who has never really experienced the romantic part, yet. I have always loved the idea of being in love, yet I have never shared that love in a romantic relationship. I still remember my first crush, a boy named Ben who was in my pre-K class. My five-year-old self thought that we would get married someday, and that he was the love of my life. Well, as you probably have inferred, that really didn’t work out in my favor.

Throughout my life I have had some major crushes that just never really turned into anything. I am definitely partially to blame for that. I was extremely quiet in high school unless I was around my friends, and I just never really put myself out there. I just assumed that eventually some dashing and confident young man would essentially sweep me off my feet, profess his love for me, and we would live happily ever after. It didn’t take long for me to realize that this is a highly unlikely situation. I eventually just accepted that the boys I was surrounded by just didn’t find me attractive enough to pursue anything serious. And that really used to bug me.

I was surrounded by “blossoming” and seemingly “healthy” relationships in high school that I was, in all honesty, pretty jealous of. I was so enamored with the fact that people were actually falling in love, and I wanted in. I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t get to share in the love they were feeling too. And I still have yet to figure out why my romantic feelings toward someone have never been reciprocated, but I have a feeling God knows why.

Even though I long for the day when I can begin a mature and respectable relationship with a man, I have come to accept the fact that God will put a man in my life when I am ready. He must know something I don’t, because I thought I was ready for a relationship once I entered the doors of my high school for the first day of freshmen year. Regardless, the power of prayer has helped me get through my self-consciousness toward my romantic-less life, and I trust that God has so many things planned for me. I know that he will place a man in my life when the time is right. By the way, I also know that I don’t need to find a man to make my life complete. But I have done some serious reflecting, and I would like to find a man who I can eventually spend the rest of my life and raise a family with.

For anyone else who struggles with this as I do, consider the fact that you may be wanting a relationship for the wrong reasons. I found myself believing that I needed a relationship to sate my self-conscious attitude and to truly feel accepted in the wormhole that is unrealistic high school expectations. I also thought that I needed to have a relationship just to be a normal teenager. I mean, it makes sense that a lot of us feel this way, with the way society portrays young adult relationships, but we shouldn’t feel that pressure. We should look to pursue a mature bond with someone who we feel is worthy of our time and energy, and we shouldn’t feel obligated to be with someone just to fulfill a common stereotype. We need to realize that God’s timing is absolutely perfect. He will place a significant other in your life when you are ready, whether you know it or not. I know that even though I have never been loved by a man in a romantic way, God will deliver.