I thought I had this summer figured out. I finished the semester on a very high note; my grades were good, I had the best friends in the world and I had finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life.
“…The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Praise the name of Yahweh.” While I was reading through Job the other day this verse hit me like a ton of bricks. For so long I had been on the receiving end of that verse and it felt good. What happened when He started taking away, you ask? Well the simplest way to put it is, I fell apart.
On May 15th I got on a plane with three of my friends to go to Scotland for two months. I’ve always wanted to go there, and this trip was going to be an amazing opportunity to live in a new place and share the Gospel with a group of people in desperate need of it. For reasons that still aren’t very clear to me our whole group got turned around at immigration and sent straight back home.
In the weeks after that I struggled a lot with my sense of purpose and finding what I was meant to do with my summer. Soon after, one of the most important people in my life walked out on me. It’s hard to not feel a little abandoned, alone and embarrassed when someone you thought you could depend on just isn’t there anymore.
With these things and all that has been going on in our country and the world lately, my heart has been broken pretty constantly this summer. But the good news is that I know God isn’t done with me, or this world, yet!
I can find hope in Paul’s letter to the Philippians where he says “In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:4-6).
In Job 38-41 God spends time comforting Job about his loss. Job basically tells God that he doesn’t understand why he is going through so much pain and heartache and God explains to Job over the course of four chapters all the things He knows and understands (hint: it’s everything.) This really put into perspective just how futile my quest to “figure out my life” is and brought me a lot of peace.
I don’t have the words to describe to you how constant, unwavering and loyal our Father’s love is for us but I can assure you, it is so much greater and more fulfilling than any person’s could ever be. God has such wonderful and perfect plans for all of us and I’m so thankful that I have His promises to lean on in this season of life.
“28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” – Romans 8:28.
