Word to the wise. You don't have to be religious, but the second you start thinking you're the biggest thing on this planet, you got a lot of spirituality coming your way. And that may not even really make sense to me either, but Mama Earth's comin' in hot if you don't spring off that high horse of yours.

So here I am, 22 years old with a fresh college degree with my birth name on it. Not my stage name. My birth name, which is the realest it's ever going to get. I have internship experience, I have breakup experience, I have mild street experience, and I have world experience. Which obviously adds to my long lists of reasons why I am qualified to do "insert job here." But it's not enough. Because of our "economy" says everyone and their mother. Our economy is not going to make it easy for you to find a job, oh and you're an artist? Oh, you're a filmmaker, oh shit, you're out sister, there is no hope for you what-so-ever.

And you're going to say. "that's not true, I got this" and you're going to sip your coffee and get all hyped and ready to take on the world and e-mail previous employers to see if someone has a friend of a friend in your industry that is looking for a newbie to take on. But in reality you're not really even a newbie. You're a professional with more experience than the Production Assistant you meet on set who is the nephew of the director and who went to some school with three students in total and let them grade themselves. You're going to e-mail everyone you know because unlike most of Hollywood, you don't have that "in." You have some pretty close "ins" but you're too stubborn to even ask them, because you're about to conquer this obnoxious industry on your own.

I am telling you, I have it "figured out" on paper. Talk about fake it till you make it... I am SUCH a winner to my great aunt. "Oh, Lily? She's my great niece who's living out in LA! I am telling you, she's going to be a star one day!" Well gee, thanks for the support Aunt Vickie, but Lil has nothing left but a bruised ego and one too many cocktail meet and greets with famous Hollywood producers who met at other cocktail bars. They all want to get me a job, they say, but it's timing, they say, it will always be timing, is what they all say.

This world is timing. This industry is timing.

And then you're gong to get a call. It will be from the most random job you applied to. Some woman from HR named Barbara is going to give you a call and you're gonna listen to her but secretly wonder how she's even calling you because your phone number is definitely not on your resume. And you're going to nod to everything she says even though she can't see you and then you're going to agree to go in for an interview, and you're way too overqualified for the job of "office coordinator" or "receptionist" but you're gong to act like "you will give it your absolute everything." Because to them this may as well be rocket surgery... is that what they say? And they'll let you in on a little secret of the trade, and tell you that "everyone's going to love you" and that you "have the job," but they just need to check in with "one other person" first. And you never know who this other interviewee is, but let's name her Stephanie, or better yet, "Robert" because I'd rather not compete with a female. Robert is qualified just like you, but I bet he has some sort of business minor or something, I could see that being a thing. And he's going to dazzle Barbara with his auburn hair and his crest white strip teeth and his business minor. And she's going to get so distracted by interviewee Robert and forget about interviewee Lily.

But oh well, I honestly hated that job anyways, no one actually knows how to dress themselves either. "Business casual" does not mean "wear only Anne Taylor Loft" but that's what they all do anyway. And you secretly know you'll be fired later down the road for wearing something with an intentional hole in it or something Kanye West or maybe you decide to throw on some glitter for the day. I am what I am.

And you're going to go home and binge watch "Narcos" because Pablo Escobar is really the only person that understands you. And your roommate will understand even though she works for some add agency that gave her a 401K and everything. I still really don't know what that is. And you're going to sit and doubt your worth... even though you're qualified. And then you'll read some hysterical FB video of an old dude eating wasabi instead of guacamole, who does that?? And then you'll forget all about job searching until that next morning when you start rolling the boulder up the hill once more... at least the guy in the analogy probably had nicer calves than you.

HEY PESSIMISM. Give 'er a listen. You're dumb. Because you're qualified and you're spunky and you're young. And you have a bigger plan. Not like, oh go to Church, read a bible and realize that there's a lot more out there that's bigger than little you and your wants, needs, and dreams. I am talking about manifesting that shit, knowing that you have a lot to offer this world and if you can't find it, make it. You never know what corner you're going to turn that changes your whole entire life course. Please, that was not meaning to sound sketch, just eye opening. Expect that it's all going to work out in the end. Life advice - take the side roads and use Waze. #AD