Over the holiday weekend, I spent it with my chosen family since my biological family is not so nice about my transition. During dinner, we found ourselves educating some folks on what being transgender was like. Now, I don't mind educating people who want to be educated. I'd rather educate them than have them use Google to get misinformation, especially with all the "fake news" going around. My friend gave a perfect analogy as to what being trans actually feels like in terms that allies would be able to understand. This analogy allows them to relate and think about how it would make them feel to get policed based on what you are.
First, ask yourself what your shoe size is. For this example, we'll use a size 8.
Imagine you are a size 8 in shoes. However, every time you walk into a shoe store, the shoe clerks demand that you are a size 5. Because of this, they will only sell you size 5 shoes. Because you are required to wear shoes everywhere, your family just tells you to suck it up and wear the size 5 shoes.
You wear these shoes for years, knowing deep down that you are a size 8. These shoes hurt your feet, and over time will cause significant damage to your feet. You walk into multiple shoe stores to show them how much it hurts, yet they still refuse to give you your size 8 shoes.
Then one day, you meet a friend who is a size 8. They lend you a pair of size 8 shoes for you to try on. Once you put these shoes on, you instantly feel better. Over time your blisters go away and your feet begin to heal. You walk into the shoe store and show the clerk your new size 8 shoes that fit and make you happy and comfortable. The clerk begins yelling at you saying that you were born to wear size 5 shoes, and that's all your going to get. The clerk then takes away your size 8 shoes that you fought so hard to get and gives you a size 5 again — that invalidating feeling of nobody is listening to what you really are.
Now could you imagine how you would feel if this happened to you? Wouldn't it be invalidating and hurtful to know that you are something, while everyone around you is saying that you're not? This type of situation happens to Transgender folks on a daily basis.
You know what you are, but everyone tells you that you something different.
