It seems like this is the season where all my friends are in romantic relationships, and I want to be supportive. The selfish part of me will say, "I WANT THAT TOO!" and that isn't fair at all. Here my friends are, happy and falling in love and there I am, acting resentful of my own relationship status. Not exactly very supportive or happy for my friends at all.

So a few days ago, I was in class and heard the sentence "we are in relationship with each other," come from my professor. I couldn't focus on another sentence for the rest of class (sorry, professor!). That sentence continued to play on repeat for the duration of the day, and seem to ring even louder in my mind when I was with my friends, both those who are single and those in relationships. I was contemplating my relationship with these people, realizing that I have been going about this all wrong. I have been moping too long about the lack of a romantic relationship and neglecting to cultivate healthier relationships with these great people I call friends. In that moment, I felt like a trash friend. Then I was on the phone with my mom not too long ago while filling out an application, and the application asked for an emergency contact. The question that followed was "what is your relationship with this person?"

Now, after this week, you can bet that question hit me like a sock full of change in it. I have always sought for a strong family relationship with non-family because I felt like my own has never been that strong: the way I want it to be. I have grown lazy with these people. I have grown too comfortable, eating their food and sitting around, venting to them about things that are of little inconsequential value. I am blessed to have such amazing people in my life, ones who love me and want to be in my life. I have taken full advantage of these RELATIONSHIPS that I have in my life, instead of focusing on these amazing people, and strengthening my bonds with these people and making the most of what I have with them.

I don't need to be in a romantic relationship; this week has taught me that much. I am already in a relationship: multiple relationships, to be more precise. I'm going to spend more time focusing on these great people that God has blessed me with, less time on my phone secretly wishing that I had someone to text me, more time going out with my friends making memories and laughing. More time with my family, strengthening those connections that may be weaker than they should be. I refuse to continue to mope and feel sorry for myself, because that won't change anything.