During the last few days of summer before I started my senior year of high school, I felt a strong sense of impending doom. I wasn't worried about college being just around the corner, I wasn't sad about leaving my high school, and I wasn't dreading having to leave my friends behind when we went to separate colleges (yet). Instead, I was terrified of one certain class I was taking my fall semester: Advanced Placement AB Calculus.
There are two variations of AP Calculus: AB and BC. BC Calculus is the equivalent of a full college Calculus class, whereas AB Calculus is equal to about half of a college Calculus class. I was enrolled in the easier of the two, so I don't know why I was so afraid.
For some reason, I truly believed that taking that class would be nearly impossible. I had always taken honors math classes since middle school, but math definitely wasn't my best subject. And something about the word "Calculus" just sounded painful to me. Before the class even started, I assumed my GPA would go down the toilet and that colleges would revoke my acceptances after I sent my updated transcript including my Calculus grade.
Inevitably, September 1st came around and I started the class I had been dreading for months. But on the first day, my perspective completely changed. Thankfully, my teacher sensed that we were all at least a little bit nervous about taking the course. Before we discussed any actual Calculus, he said something along the lines of, "This will not be the hardest thing you ever have to do."
In that moment, I felt completely foolish and naive. Why was I so worked up about this? After all, it was just a class. Of course it wouldn't be the hardest thing I'd ever do. In fact, it would be on the easier end of life's obligations.
Immediately, I thought of paying bills, taking care of my future children, dealing with sickness or death of family members, trying to find a job, etc. From that point on, I felt lucky to still be a student with a pretty great life. I didn't have to worry about too much of the big stuff yet.
Obviously, I made it through my Calculus class just fine. I actually received a better grade in Calculus than I did in Precalculus, and I believe that my new mindset was at least partially responsible. I took everything one day at a time, and I didn't let myself get too anxious about the quizzes or tests. I knew that my future was going to be made up of many tasks and obstacles much more difficult than a Calculus class. Knowing this helped me relax and ultimately perform better in the course as a whole.
To this day, whenever I'm nervous about a big exam or a new experience, I take a step back and think, "this will not be the hardest thing I'll ever do." Now I like to save my worry for when things get seriously hard.
