As we roll into the new school year many of us start to set more goals for ourselves based on observations we made last year. Most people wish to become more organized, or get more involved in groups, but I had a different problem last year among the many other struggles of freshman year. I would look around to my peers, who were so in touch with themselves, and I envied them. I envied their drive. I envied their unique twist they put on everything they did and how they knew exactly what they wanted and how they were going to get there.

This year I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and getting out there to find myself and what I want out of life. That’s my goal. I’ve decided to explore it through writing and photography. What better way to embark this journey than by recording my experiences and reflecting on my thoughts?

I attended my first class of “Promoting and Packaging Yourself.” Sure enough, my professor wants us to step forward and write a mission statement about who we are and what our long term goals are.

Who am I? Who is this artist within me?

As I look into myself deeper I find I am emotionally driven by past mistakes. I am hopelessly desperate for cheesy romance but am too intimidated to go out and grab it myself, so I make art about it. I write about the things that hurt and read to know that other people share the same pain. I take pictures of everything I find beautiful because I feel moments should never be wasted, they should be celebrated.

I chase the sunset every day to fall in love with the view.

This sunset was so beautiful it reminded me of the love that broke me.

I feel the need to hold onto this moment because I have already lost so much.

I looked down into my notebook and began scribbling these words passionately thinking of this love that so much resembled the fiery colors in the sunset.

“We were so in love but something happened after a while. I started falling more in love with myself than with you. I started realizing how much better I deserved and seeing all the conditions of our love.

I realized how I loved you but I hated who you’ve become. I loved you but you were always trying to fix me. I just loved being so in love. I loved putting effort into loving someone even if that person didn’t reciprocate. I loved you but I had no idea what I wanted out of life, but now I'm sure it a life with you.

This all sounds so selfish but that’s what life is about. Surviving. Knowing what you need and going out and getting it. I know I need someone who will support me and who will help me drive forward in life on the right path; right now, that person is me.

So I will keep chasing that sunset and falling in love with it every day. I see a lot of myself in the sunset too. We are both filled with passion and determined to finish our goal no matter what at the end of each day. I’m reminded of who I am now because of you; stronger.”

I snapped a good picture of the sun setting and put my things away. Going through this process almost feels like I’m looking deeper into myself to see what makes me unique.

Have I found who I am or who I want yet? No, but I won’t stop looking.