The day is Sunday. It's a hot summer afternoon. My first day off of work in forever, so naturally I have solid plans of staying in bed and watching crappy Netflix movies all day, unbothered.

Enter Happy Couple A, sprinting in to surround me on either side, making it known that they have full intentions of staying with me all day as they exchange baby talk and kisses to each other above me.

Now, obviously everyone has those couples as friends that oh-so-sweetly involve you in everything they do. But with me, it's different. It's all the time. You see, happy couples of this type are obsessed with me; they follow me everywhere.

It's as though all couples of this sort have a radar, one that exists to detect stubbornly single people like myself so that they may take me in as their "happy couple" mascot. Every couple always has one trailing along, locked in the back of the group due to stupidly narrow sidewalks.

Now, I know this comes across in a way that makes me sound bitter towards these happy couples, but trust me when I say this is not the case. I am merely tired of being the unseen hero in the background, the mediator, the entertainer, the third wheel. We are a special breed of people, us third wheels. We work behind the scenes to make all of the effortless happiness possible, pulling our strings to keep it all together. We offer our insight in the most passive of ways, assisting both parties in the end. What does this mean, you might wonder?

Let me provide a few examples:

"I bet she would really like this as an anniversary present"

"He's just under a lot of stress right now. He will open up."

And then, of course, there is the more thorough work of analyzing the words of both parties behind the scenes, all the while staying in the background of it all. It is a hard job being a consistent third wheel, and it is not for everyone. There are the hard times of having to choose sides. Even worse, there are those times when we fail in our duties, and our efforts can't keep them together.

So to all my fellow third wheels out there: keep up the good work. I am right here with ya.