Thank goodness for technology...after years of tireless invention, research and innovation, I can finally just text my friends all the weird things I need to tell them, without ever leaving the comfort of my own home.
If you're anything like me, there's pretty much no need to explain your messages to your friends. You just send the most important parts and know that they'll have your back, answer your question, or just respond with a much needed: "girl, same". Lucky for them, they get to enjoy some of these very strange conversation starters you can only use on the besties.
1) "A boy is being creepy. Come hold my hand and tell him we're together so he'll leave me alone."
Self-explanatory.
2) "Remember that blue dress you wore to that one wedding like a year ago? I'm coming by to get it at 8."
Sometimes (most of the time) your wardrobe just won't suffice when you have a big day coming up. There's only so many different cardigans and shoes you can add to spice up your dresses.
3) "Idk if this weird, but...."
This can literally be followed by anything at all. And it usually is weird, but they love you, so they'll tell you it's perfectly normal.
4) "I think I'm dying. What medicine do I take for (insert whatever is ailing you here)?"
My medicine expertise begins and ends with not taking more than 6 Tums in a day...
5) "On a scale of 1-10, how crazy does this make me sound?"
Much like number 3, this can be followed by anything from a text you sent to a thought you kept inside in the interest of being more professional at work.
6) "Today sucked. Like the worst kind of suckage. Tell me your day sucked too so I feel a little better."
No matter how bad your day is, sometimes it helps to know someone else was struggling too.
7) "CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW ANGRY (insert whatever you're angry about now) MAKES ME?!?!?!"
The only proper response to this is a GIF about getting angry, or "same girl".
8) *link to some odd animal video* "Watch this and tell me how hard you cry."
This is actually what 90% of my conversations with people go I'm a sucker for the Panda that falls out of the tree.
9) "Do you ever just cry because the kitten in the video was that cute?"
Again, the only appropriate answer here is "yes". We're not really looking for contradictions here, just some reassurance that kittens are the actual greatest thing on earth.
10) "Will you go get your eyebrows waxed with me? If I go by myself, they're all going to judge how bad my eyebrows are."
If you have yet to get your eyebrows waxed in a salon, it's a real struggle. Safety in numbers.
11) "Food?"
This is less of a question and more of a politely worded demand. :)
