I grew up in a relatively middle-class suburban household. With a population barely over 15,000 (That’s less than the total enrollment of Harvard University), I shared a lot with the people my age. We all went to the same school, shopped at the same stores, walked the same streets and it was believed that we all received the same opportunities. But the one thing that made me stick out like a sore thumb was something I couldn’t change if I tried. From the outside I looked like a black female, there was no doubt about it, but on the inside, apparently, I was never really “black enough.” I realized from a very young age that race was important. I looked different than most of my peers and as a result, they treated me differently. If you were to go back and ask most of them about me, they might say, “You’re one of us” or “We never saw you as different” which would only prove my point further. As it turns out, I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way. Here are a few things we’ve had to deal with at the expense of not being “black enough.”
Oreos aren’t cookies
Black on the outside white on the inside. Yup, we’ve all heard it before, and when I hear the word, I don’t exactly think of the infamous sandwich cookies anymore.
Boujee
Usually, a term used by your cousin during the holidays because you choose to speak proper English and you don’t engage in delinquent activities.
Being a “Token”
Whether you’ve seen an episode of South Park, or not, you probably know what being "the token" means. Every group has it’s “token" ethnic member who sticks out a little bit more than the rest at the sacrifice of being accepted. Whether people want to admit it or not, I have been the token more times than I can count and it’s something I always notice. Despite the people in that group going out of their way to treat me the same as everyone else, I’m always aware that I am out of place
Cornrows/ French braids
It took me years to master braiding my own hair, what makes you thing I want to do yours?
You’re really ____ for a black person
Smart, funny, pretty, etc. And you’re really ignorant. Need I go on?
Phone v. real life
It never fails to see the shock on a stranger's face when they realize that the eloquent speaker on the phone is indeed a black person. Are you confused that I don't speak "black"? That I am educated? Please take a seat.
Affirmative Action
Let's not forget that my success in school and the workplace could only be possible through governmental pity and not by my hard work and determination. Every time I go into an interview or hand in an assignment, I become very much aware that the color of my skin has already set a reputation before me in which I must tread lightly.
Dancing
Don’t get me wrong, I love to dance, but every time a new dance craze comes around someone looks to me for help. Prom, homecoming, birthday parties, it never fails for people to quickly turn their eyes to me in hopes of doing something profane on the dance floor. And for the last time, no I will not twerk for you or for anyone.
Angry black response
Heaven forbid things don’t exactly turn out your way and everyone turn to you in expectant of the next Tyler Perry movie to take place in front of their eyes. If you're female they expect a sassy "OH NO YOU DIDN'T" and if you're a male, every backs away for fear of you swinging a few punches.
Having white friends
When you are raised in a neighborhood that blatantly labels you as the minority, you do what you need to in order to survive socially. Sometimes that means having predominately white friends. Also, if the people you are most exposed to and have the most in common with are white, basic psychology states that you will become friends with them. Get over it.
Growing up in a "good" neighborhood
Because apparently, the house you live in is also an automatic determinant of your personality. Thanks to the media's portrayal of black people having sad and pathetic lives, everyone assumes that I must be worse off than them. I must have escaped a terrifying and dangerous life of drugs and crime in “the hood.” And that would be the only way to explain my comfortable current living situation.
Having both parents
I’m just going to leave this here. If you're still confused, see above.
Being born in America
Why must we assume that because my skin is a little darker than yours, I am a foreign creature? Yes, I was born here--in America. I am not an immigrant. My parents may be, but that doesn’t make me any more or less black. Would you treat me any better if I actually was born in Africa? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.
Being black isn’t something that I’ve chosen, and it’s not something that I am going to sit around and be ashamed of. The color of my skin and the stereotypes that you cling to for comfort will not define me. While I am very much aware of the disadvantage I have in this society, I am still very much capable and deserving of your respect.
