1) I’m not flirting with you. This is my job and you are a customer. It is expected that I am friendly and kind, and I genuinely want to be. Let’s not confuse kindness for any kind of sexual tension.
2) Do not hit on me when I am at work. This goes back to the flirting thing. This is my job, not match.com so please, let’s not take it there.
3) A chocolate latte is just a mocha. Got it? Ok, glad we are on the same page.
4) When you come through the drive thru and have your music blaring so that I can’t hear your order, or you’re telling me your order while looking the other way, don’t get mad at me when I ask you to repeat what you said.
5) Put out your cigarette before blowing it into my face at the drive thru.
6) This is not Starbucks (or maybe it is) but if it isn't, please, do not order a tall, grande, or venti.
7) And when you still insist on using Starbucks lingo and order a tall and I say “so you want a small?” don’t reply “no, I want the BIG one.” Shake my damn head.
8) Speaking of Starbucks, if you are not at a Starbucks, quit asking if we sell Frappuccino’s because we don't.
9) Always start out your order by telling me what size you want. Always.
10) Then clarify if you want it hot, iced, or blended. I promise, you can do it!
11) And no, iced and blended are not the same things. So when I ask and you reply with “cold” I have no clue what you really want.
12) I do not know where you ever ordered an “iced cappuccino” but just why? These are the things that keep me up at night.
13) I know it’s early and believe it or not, I am not or have not always been a morning person, so let’s just both be friendly okay?
14) Before you ask me to list off every syrup flavor we have, please, read the menu.
15) If you come back and complain I made your drink wrong every day, just know I know what you are doing and I am onto you.
16) When I ask you what you want to drink and you get offended that I can’t remember what you drink, remember, I talk to a ton of people every day.
17) I really do want to know everyone’s names and everyone’s drinks and I am trying to remember them all, but until I do, for the love of Pete just tell me what you want to drink. I'm trying, okay?
18) When you tip, it really does mean a lot.
19) When you don’t tip, it is okay, but tip when you can.
20) Unless I ask you if you want whip on your drink, we do not put whip on it so you do not need to yell “HOLD THE WHIP” every time you order.
21) Please do not sit in line for a long time and then when you finally get to the window or register say “I don’t know what I want.”
22) I can see inside your car, so please, hide your drug paraphernalia, and put on some pants.
