Growing up, I was always the friend that was there when you wanted them to and tried to be there even when you were pushing them away. I always tried my hardest to be a good friend to the few friends that I had but eventually got pushed away from them too.
I would have occasional here and there friends that would hang out with me once or twice or in a big group but never all the time or for more than a couple months.
I would have the friend that would say you're best friends then trash talk you to everyone (but who doesn't have one of these friends, am I right?).
I would have the friend that made me feel like I was worthless and used me to make themselves feel better.
And I was that friend that would believe that.
I have learned some things over the past years of not having real friends:
1. Family is always there
This may not be true for everyone but there is usually at least one person in your family that will always be there for you. It might be a parent or a cousin or an aunt or uncle. There's always that one person that will always be your "real friend". Those are the people that have helped me move past these times and become stronger.
2. Not everyone is going to like you
And that's okay. You don't need to be liked by everyone in order to have friends. Being yourself is the only way to make real friends.
3. Be yourself
As Oscar Wilde once said, "Be yourself because everyone else is already taken." This quote really applies here. I use to try to be like the people I wanted to hang out with but that wasn't who I really was so I became unhappy with myself. That makes it almost impossible to have friends if you can't be yourself around them.
4. Trust yourself
Trust that you are okay and perfect the way that you are. That sounds cliche but it's true. Trusting yourself and your gut feelings when it comes to people is what a lot of people tend to ignore. It's easy to say that what you feel isn't real.
5. Love yourself
Probably the most important. People like to say if you can't love yourself it's impossible for anyone else to love you. That could not be more true. When you are feeling down if someone says something that bothers you even a little, on a normal day, then it would feel so much worse and may cause problems that you normally wouldn't have to face. Loving yourself will give you the ability to say that it does not bother you.
6. As you grow up people change (including yourself)
Growing up changes people (well some people). Going to college and being on their own changes people. Starting work changes people. The normal stress of everyday life changes people. With life experiences people change, it makes them who they are. Some people grow up faster than others and that's what makes people "grow apart". Those fake friends you once had are now off with other people and probably making real or true friends. That's part of life.
Even though it sucks never knowing who you can trust and never having that one person who is always there for you (no matter how much they say they are) there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. There will be a day when you find those one or two friends that you know you can trust and that will always be there for you.
