You’re going to have some ups, and you’re going to have some downs. Most people give up on themselves easily. Do you know that a human spirit is powerful?

There is nothing as powerful; it's hard to kill the human spirit! Anybody can feel good when they have their health, their bills are paid, and they have happy relationships. Anybody can be positive then. Anybody can have a larger vision then. Anybody can have a lot of faith under those kinds of circumstances. The real challenge of growth: mentally, emotionally, and spiritually comes when you get knocked down. It takes courage to act!

Part of being hungry when you’ve been defeated.It takes courage to start over again.

It's difficult to get up and try again when it feels like all you ever do is get knocked back down. You have to believe that one day you will find something that will work, that you will find something that will break down any obstacle, and put you in a place where nothing else matters anymore. Achievement is not an easy thing, but determination will always end with rewards.

So here are a few things I have noted to myself amidst starting over once again.

1. Boundaries are freeing.

You don’t have to welcome everyone who knocks for the hell of knocking. In most circumstances, people can wait. It’s okay to say, “h\Hey! I’m right in the middle of something, but I will call/text you as soon as I’m able to and we can work this out together.”

2. Whether giving or receiving, not all attention is good attention.

3. Being kind is always the right thing to do, but:

4. Being kind doesn’t mean “acting nice”, and:

5. Forcing friendships and pretending to like someone isn’t fair to anyone.

6. Let the dead leaves fall: some friendships expire.

That doesn’t mean they were never green; it doesn’t mean you have to pile ‘em up and erase the evidence. Let them fall and nourish the ground for some other tree.

7. You need friends who can gently stand up to you when you’re being an ass, and who can be gently stood up to when they’re being one.

8. Realize that you are not the exception.

If a good friend of yours is endlessly talking shit about friends you have in common, but acts like best buddies when those friends are around, they are a bad friend. You are not just the one that your friend blows off steam in good fun with; you’re a subject of that “good fun” when you’re not around.

9. Nothing will change if you just smile and nod.

There’s really no point in pretending that you are not indeed tit-deep in bullshit. Ask yourself why you’re still standing in it. Is it because you were put here by someone else and you’re too polite to try and get out of it? People get mad, and they also get over it: none of that is your problem. Did you put yourself here? Okay- acknowledge that. Forgive. Start swimming. And take a damn shower!

10. Toxic people just don’t deserve to be in your life.

Let them go as soon as possible. There’s no use in hoping that things may change. The truth is, your life will be so much better when you cut them off.

11. Sometimes, people mean exactly what they say, and sometimes, they don’t. Learn to both read between the lines, and not read too much into what is said.

Instead, just observe their behavior.

12. Keep holding on.

Just because things have been shitty for the last 6 months does not mean it wouldn’t change for the better in the next.

13. Things happen quickly, so take any opportunities that are given to you.

14. Treasure friends that act like your support network, and give them support when they need you.

As you grow older, it will become more rare to find friends who stand by you both in your highest, and lowest, without expecting anything in return.

15. Being emotional does not mean you’re weak. If someone sees the emotional part of you and turns away or does not appreciate it, leave them.

At the same time, don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Treat them with care, understand them, learn your defense mechanisms.

16. Know your own strengths and weaknesses: what you can bring to the table and what you need to be aware of.

In regards to this, it is most important you know your own value so as not to be used or exploited.

17. Values (moral codes, standards of behaviors, principles, whatever you call it) are the most important thing to consider when assessing someone.

Especially when they are facing difficult situations. These determine how a certain person would respond to a crisis or a stressful event, aka, their attitude.

18. Communication is so, so important.

Knowing how each other communicate, knowing when to communicate, and knowing what to communicate are important skills that everyone should learn to foster mutual understanding, empathy, and trust.

Take note my loves!