No matter how old you are or where you come from, coming out can be one of the scariest experiences ever. Whenever I was around thirteen years old, I started questioning who I truly was.
Why wasn't I like everyone else around me? What was wrong with me? I spent so much time trying to understand, and I finally came to the realization that I'm not straight. After I finally gained the courage and admitted that to myself, I needed a lot more courage to tell my friends and family. Here are 4 things to know about coming out:
1. There's nothing wrong with you.
Try thinking of everyone as a big bowl of soup: chicken noodle, tomato, potato, and anything else you can think of. No matter what type of soup someone is, they're still soup at the end of the day. Maybe you and your best friend are both french onion soup, but you're topped with provolone while your best friend is topped with swiss. Does being a provolone-topped french onion soup make you less of a soup? No, obviously you're still soup no matter what ingredients or toppings you have.
The same thing applies to people; just because there's something different about you, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. You're just as normal, just as human, and just as beautiful as anyone else. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community is just like having some extra pepper added to you.
2. Wait until you're ready.
Don't feel like you have to come out to everyone as soon as you come out to yourself! If you want to and you're ready, go ahead. There's nothing wrong with that just like there's nothing wrong with waiting months or even years. I wouldn't advise holding it in until you're about to pop, but there's nothing wrong with waiting a little while to gain more confidence in yourself.
I, personally, didn't tell anyone until about a year after I figured myself out, and even then I only told one person at a time. Don't be afraid to go at your own pace.
3. Join a community.
Whenever I was confused and trying to figure out who I was, I found comfort in being around other people who had been or currently were, in a similar position as me. Joining an LGBTQ+ group, club or community could help you simply by reminding you that you're not alone. On top of that, there's nothing wrong with gaining new friends. If you're too scared or awkward to go out and see people in person, there's tons and tons of queer people on the internet.
Something as simple as watching coming out stories on YouTube and looking at the comments to see all the people who relate brings a sense of community and comfort.
4. The time before you come out is the scariest part.
Whenever I was in the closet, I was terrified to come out. All I could do was think about how the situation would go down when the truth finally came out. I would drop little hints because I was tired keeping who I was a secret, but I would feel my heart beating out of my chest if I thought someone knew something. I was stuck keeping the real me hidden because of fear.
One day I finally had enough, and I began taking baby steps. I told one friend, and another, then another until almost all of my friends knew. The next step was even scarier—telling my family. Although it was terrifying, I finally bit the bullet and started the process of telling all of my family. Now everyone knows, and I couldn't be happier! I'm not haunted thinking about the terrifying conversations to come, I don't have to censor who I am, and I don't have to keep my relationship hidden. Once all of the cards are on the table, there's nothing to be scared of anymore.
I'm not saying that coming out will be this super simple, quick, and happy ending, but I know that it'll pave the road to being happier. Once you're out, you're on a new adventure in life where you don't have to be afraid anymore.
