When you tell people you are moving to New York City, you will probably receive a lot of advice on places to go, things to do, food to eat, and so on. It is fun to do all the tourist-y thing when you first get here, but soon you won't be a tourist anymore.
When you really want to start feeling at home here, you can do some of these little things.
1. Find your bodega
If you talk to any person that has lived in New York for awhile, you will probably hear them mention "their bodega." You might hear something along the lines of "I don't know what they do differently, but I swear my bodega has the best coffee in the neighborhood," or "My bodega guy always knows what I'm going to ask for before I even say it." or "My bodega guy gave me my bagel for free when my card declined. He is the best."
You will pass many bodegas in your time in the city, but you will find your favorite. Don't rely on it for all of your groceries and household necessities, because it will cost you a lot more money that a trip to Trader Joe's (convenience is expensive). Do make friends with your bodega guy. Always ask how they're doing. Be kind to them. They keep the city running, and they will remember you. Which can lead to them "forgetting" to charge you extra for almond milk in your coffee. Score.
2. Help someone carry something heavy up the subway steps
The first time you see it happen, you will think it is ridiculous. The next time you have to take a cab to JFK Airport, you will understand why people bring huge suitcases onto the subway. Living in this city is expensive, and most of the population will do anything to save some dollars. Usually, that means opting for the longer, more strenuous trek on a subway rather than an expensive cab ride.
Work up that good karma. If you see someone carrying something huge and awkward and heavy up the subway steps, offer to help. You won't believe how surprised that person will be when you do. Don't hesitate to be kind. Especially if you see someone carrying a stroller. That parent will be so happy and gracious. It will make your day brighter. It will be you someday that needs help. Pass the good deed along, and it will come back to you.
3. Attend a spirit circle
They happen all around the city. Some take place in honor of the full moon each month, some are just weekly gatherings to help us unwind. Some involve music, dancing, singing, and even yoga. You don't have to have any level of skill in these things to attend, and you don't have to be a part of any religious group. These events welcome everyone.
It can be very easy to become disconnected in the city. You may find yourself walking on the streets of Manhattan one day, surrounded by people, and feel completely alone. It happens to all of us at some point.
These events are a great way to combat that feeling. They bring people together to connect us to each other and to nature. ...Yes, there is still nature to be found in the concrete jungle, and it is really good to remind yourself that it's there. You may feel silly the first time you attend one, but you really don't have to.
You can find some events in this realm at a wonderful place in Midtown called The Open Center, as well as many other places. You can also find gatherings lead by a wonderful woman named Donna Henes, known lovingly by her community as Mama Donna.
Because New Yorkers are seeing the need to connect more and more every day, new circles and venues and communities for this purpose are sprouting all the time. You will meet so many people from so many different backgrounds. It will be enlightening. Do some research, find a community that fits your needs, and never feel alone again.
4. Go to central park alone. Lay in the grass.
Sheep Meadow is a good place to do this. On a sunny day, it's filled with people enjoying the feeling of fresh air amidst the chaos of the rest of Manhattan. You won't hear a single car horn, siren, or angry cab driver. You won't smell the sewers or the exhaust from buses. It feels like you aren't in the city anymore.
Lay down and just feel the grass, and the sun hitting your skin, and the air. Listen to people laughing and playing frisbee. Take in the fact that nobody is in a rush to get anywhere. Appreciate the energy around you of the people truly enjoying just being outside. Don't bring any homework or tasks to complete. Just be. It's cleansing.
5. Learn about your neighborhood.
Walk around. Explore. Do some research. Talk to shop owners that have rented the same storefront for decades. Get involved in community events. Start conversation with people that grew up there. When people start to tell you what the city used to look like, you will be shocked. You will appreciate everything you have so much more when you know how long it took to get there. People worked very hard for their entire lives to make the city what it is today. Consider that often, and appreciate it.
6. Eat 99 cent pizza.
You can get really good pizza at a price-y Italian restaurant, and it will just be really good pizza. But then, when you have a fresh 99 cent slice off of a paper plate while you walk around the city late one night, you will be changed.
You will have the best conversations and instant friendships with strangers waiting for pizza in a closet-sized shop at 2am on a Saturday, and you will finally understand why New Yorkers fold their pizza (and that a folded slice is not a lesser slice). Just do it.
7. Go to a play you know nothing about.
When people think of theatre in New York, they usually think of Broadway. There are wonderful plays to be seen on the big stages in the Theatre District, but there are soooo many more small venues and companies that produce some real gems. Find one of those shows at a twenty-seat house. Better yet, find one being produced in what used to be a garage. Don't research it. Don't give yourself any hints about the plot. Go in completely blind. No matter how it turns out, you are in for an interesting experience. Best of all, you are showing support for the up-and-coming writers, directors, actors, and crew that will likely be on those big stages some day. You have no idea how much your support means to them. They really need it. And once again, if you are an artist yourself, you will be working up that good karma.
If you want a recommendation on some good Off-Broadway or Off-Off-Broadway (Yea, that's a thing) shows, you should visit The Drama Bookshop. They always have a stack of flyers and postcards advertising what's running, and the staff definitely knows what's up as far as the newest plays on the market. Ask them what you should go and see. You won't regret it.
8. Pick up a hobby that you can share with other people.
Whatever you like, whatever you do, whatever you are good at, or want to be good at, there is a place for you here. Nurture a hobby that you enjoy already, or pick up a new one. You can knit hats for the homeless, repair old clocks, design t-shirts, decorate cupcakes, choreograph interpretive dances... if you can think of it, you can find a class or a group for it. Develop a circle of people that love what you love. Find your niche. It's there. You might have to invest a bit of time searching for it, but I promise you, it's there. Nowadays, there are even apps out there like Meetup and others that can help you find your people.
Going out to parties or bars in an attempt to make friends can be exhausting and often fruitless. Go out and actually do things with other people. It's way more fun, and will result in way fewer embarrassing party stories.
It's easy to get caught up in the rush of the city when you move here. Take time to really make the it your home. Get involved with your community. Find the way in which you fit, and help others find their way too. The city isn't just a place, it is the people that live in it. You're one of those people now. Welcome.
