Having anxiety can be the worst, to be honest. Many people don't understand it and it's kind of a pain to explain. There are a lot of myths and misconceptions surrounding it that can be incredibly frustrating. So to make things a bit easier to understand, here's a list of things people with anxiety would like other people to know.
1. Anxiety is a medical condition
Having anxiety means a whole host of things. For starters, it's an actual medical condition. There is a difference between occasionally feeling anxious and actually having anxiety. It isn't something you can self diagnose, either. Being a medical condition also means that it doesn't just go away. There is no cure.
2. It isn't something we can just think away
Anxiety is very random and very uncontrollable. Which means, it is impossible to just think ourselves out of an incredibly anxious state. In fact, trying to do so only makes things worse. Once that train picks up speed there is no derailing. It goes until you run out of steam.
3. It is possible to fake a calm demeanor
Learning how to fake comfort in public is unfortunately something that is common among people with anxiety. We don't want to be an immense burden so we will do our best to fake a calm polite demeanor on the outside while losing it on the inside for as long as we possibly can. However once our facade starts to crack, we have to immediately exit the situation.
4. We do not mean to come off as rude
In many cases social interaction is a lot for people with anxiety. It's not always easy to look people in the eyes or speak up when necessary. If we don't shake your hand it isn't because we don't want to be polite. It's likely that we are now all of the sudden thinking of every single thing you could have possibly touched before touching us and it is very scary and overwhelming. It's unfortunately something we can't completely control. We will do our best but sometimes it just isn't happening and we feel awful knowing that you probably think we're just being rude.
5. We are not reaching for your attention
It's not uncommon to hear that a lot of people fake anxiety for the attention. Some people do. But for people with anxiety, it's actually quite the opposite. We don't actually want your attention in most cases. We want to be left alone because the thought of too much attention makes us want to hide in a dark cave. Also when in an incredibly anxious state people trying to baby us is actually very overwhelming.
6. Anxiety is physically exhausting
Not only is it mentally exhausting, but it can be physically taxing as well. A lot of times we don't even realize we are tense or tapping our foot until it starts to hurt our muscles. Also anxiety attacks are intense and honestly, I usually want to sleep after mine.
7. Anxiety is not a one size fits all condition
There are many types of anxiety disorders and conditions. Only saying anxiety is a blanket term. You can have one, or many anxiety disorders without having them all. There are a variety of symptoms, none of which are pleasant.
8. Pinpointing the source of anxiety is not always possible
The most common question people with anxiety get after an attack is, "well, what caused it?" and that is by far the most frustrating question imaginable. In a lot of cases, there was no tangible cause. Anxiety is constant and the littlest things, or even nothing at all can take it from manageable to full on breakdown in a split second with no real rhyme or reason.
9. Suggesting yoga or meditation doesn't always work
While they are great strategies for helping cope with anxiety and it's symptoms, it doesn't fix the overall issue and it's more of a temporary fix than anything. Usually the affects of yoga or meditation are actually fairly underwhelming.
10. We are not purposely avoiding you
People with anxiety get invited to a lot of social events just like everyone else. Often times we commit to going but our anxiety gets in the way. Sometimes it is easy to put on grown up shoes and go anyway and enjoy ourselves as much as possible. But if that's not the case and we cancel, it is because we can foresee that going out will be extremely physically and mentally taxing or next to impossible. We don't mean to offend you at all.
11. Having anxiety does not make us less of a person.
People with anxiety are fully capable of living their own lives like everyone else. We just have to work a little harder to maintain social normalcy. It takes a lot of strength and patience to put up with having anxiety. Especially because it isn't something that goes away, just something you learn to deal with.