I often overhear both men and women talking about why women are so cautious or what the differences are between the habits of men and women. Some men think we're crazy and can never "just relax" while women are trying to explain that things are different. Here is a list of things we face as women that men will never understand.
1. We are genuinely afraid when we're alone at night.
Whether we're walking to our car, walking home, or even alone in our apartments... we're scared.
2. We try to plan everything in groups, because we feel like we have to.
Thinking about going out? Going to happy hour? Going to the store? Yeah, we like to do all that in groups because we feel safer when we're all together.
3. Trying to fit your schedule into daylight hours.
Need to grab some groceries? Want to run to the mall? We try and do all of these tasks during the day so we don't have to go out after dark.
4. Picking out the right outfit for the day.
Day of running errands? We spend so much time trying to pick out a comfortable outfit so that we won't have creepy men staring at us for being too frumpy or too revealing.
5. Wearing the right outfit for going out to bars.
No, just because I'm wearing a top with a more revealing neckline does not mean I'm a slut and certainly does not mean I'll go home with you if you buy me a Tequila Sunrise. As women, we should be able to wear a sexy outfit out because we WANT to, to look good for ourselves. The outfit is NOT for anyone but ourselves.
6. Having sex makes me a slut, but not having sex makes me a prude.
There is no good option for women here. If we want to have sex, then we should be able to without being worried about being labeled as a "slut". AND if we don't want to have sex with you, we are not prudes. In college, it seems as though men can sleep with whomever they want, whenever they want and they get rewarded for it. If the man is choosing to wait until marriage, he's deemed as a "saint" or an "angel." WHAT? The double standard is incredibly real.
7. Immediately being seen as weak or lesser.
Men, could you imagine walking into a room and immediately being taken less seriously just because of your gender?
8. Having to take days off for your period.
Every once in while we, as women, get one of those periods. The one where we can't move or talk or do anything but cry and throw up. Sometimes we physically cannot get through the day because of the pain, so we have to skip class or take a sick day at work.
9. The actual fear you have when your phone dies and you're out.
Your phone. Not just your connection to your friends, family and social media but also your connection to the police and your Uber ride home.
10. Wanting to disappear when a creepy man is giving you THAT look.
There is nothing more disgusting and violating than have some random man check you out when you're just trying to work or having some creep whistle at you in the grocery store.
11. Keeping the music at the "right" volume.
Pretty much everyone listens to music when walking to work or classes or going on a run. We all know that certain volume where we can still enjoy our music but also be able to hear if someone is coming up too quickly behind us.
Just because we constantly worry about situations like this or get emotional sometimes doesn't mean that we're crazy or hormonal. We genuinely fear for our safety. ALL WE WANT IS TO FEEL SAFE AND EQUAL. Men, please try and see things from our perspective sometimes and be more conscious about what you say to women and how you treat us.
And to the men that already do this, THANK YOU. You're appreciated and your efforts don't go unnoticed.