Sometimes it can be difficult being the girl with the broken engagement. It’s challenging going from The One to just Another One. One thing you realize from a broken engagement is that the words you tell someone will eventually be told to someone else. It’s possible to love again, it just takes time.
I learned a lot in the year and a half I spent engaged. I learned how to compromise, fight without aggression, and when to let things go. I learned that every relationship will change you, and that it’s important that you surround yourself with people that motivate you instead of hold you back. We are who we choose to spend our time with -- I’m cautious of who I share mine with.
I learned that touching the outside of a DVD can still scratch it. That when you live with someone, they move in a lot more than just their belongings. They bring in their energy, passions, faults, and secrets. I learned that love can cloud your judgment, and make you believe in half-truths. I learned that drugs can change people. That being an isolate will destroy a relationship. I learned to never put someone else’s opinion of you above your own. And no matter how beautiful a future seems, you live in the present. Make that count.
I learned how to forgive catty behavior and when to address it. I learned that my family would always want what’s best for me, even if I wasn’t able to realize it just yet. I learned that sometimes you need to apologize and put aside your pride. I learned people can grow apart, without warning. I learned that some people will try to make their unhappiness your unhappiness - don’t allow this.
I learned some hard truths. I learned that apologies are worthless when the behavior continues. I learned that no one should ever put you down. I learned that people will take advantage of you if you allow it. I learned that people can become violent when they drink. I learned that lies hurt more than the truth sometimes. I learned I’m worth more than an apology, I’m worth a commitment. I learned that it’s important to pick people who value their health. I learned that you can’t change people. I learned that words would never be as important as actions. Trust takes time. Losing it can happen quickly.
The most important thing I learned from my broken engagement was that it was my fault I was unhappy. That it was my choice to stay in an unhealthy relationship. That it was my choice to be put down and brought back up again. It was my choice to stay with someone who valued their drinks more than they valued me. I’m not saying there is a perfect relationship out there, everyone has highs and lows and part of loving someone is enduring these with them. Part of loving someone is believing in them when they cannot. Part of loving someone is being loved in return; this is necessary -- don’t settle for something less.
I've learned to be resourceful and survive the hardships we endeavor. I've learned sometimes we become better people without the attachment of another. I hold no anger or resentment for my lost engagement any longer. In the end, it made both of us stronger and better people. The truth is, if you can't grow together, then eventually you will only grow apart.
