Third-wheeling. Or, in my case, fifth wheeling since both of my best girlfriends are in steady relationships and I'm the single friend. Although I've spent many a night in my room crying about what makes me so different from them, so unlovable that they can find someone to accept all their many endearing qualities but I can't find anyone to accept even one of mine, I've learned through the past two years of high school that being the single friend isn't always the worst title in the world to hold.
Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of perks of being in a relationship. I've seen how happy my friends are when their SO is around, how they gleam when someone brings their SO's name up in conversation, or how my best friends' SO looks at them with bursting love in their hearts. It's truly a wonder to see my best friends be so in love with someone, and vice versa, even though sometimes jealousy creeps in and you wish "why isn't that me being looked at like that...?" Recently, I went through what I guess you could call a breakup, or more getting over someone who didn't love me quite as much as I loved him. Going through that made me realize quite a few things about being the single friend, and how much self-love I needed to possess before I ever depended on someone to look at me like I was their world.
Being the single friend has taught me that I don't need to depend on someone else for my own happiness. I create what makes me happy, and I don't have to constantly be around a specific person to feel something. You will always be alone in this world, eventually, and if you can't be happy while being alone, then you need to take a moment to appreciate all that you are.
As much as I would love for prince charming to cuddle me and go star-gazing with me, it's just not in the cards. You learn as time goes on that you're okay going places alone, you're okay taking yourself on dates, and you're more than okay to treat yo self to that extra scoop of chocolate ice cream because you deserve it.
Through the lonely nights you learn to appreciate yourself for everything you are. You body, no matter how big or small, curvy or lanky, is absolutely magnificent. Boys/girls are not the necessary tool to understand how genuinely unique and lovely you are. Before someone tells you these things, understand them yourself, so when they finally do tell you, you'll already know (even though it never hurt to hear it a few times over!)
Loneliness taught me that being alone isn't always such a bad thing. Especially if I have a couple rad friends to help me through life.
