Since I am beginning my junior year of college, I find myself reflecting a lot about the things that have changed over the past couple years. It’s crazy to look back and realize how much I’ve changed and the world around me has changed. I’m at a point now where I need to start figuring out what I’m going to do with my life, and for someone like me, deciding a career path and having one primary focus in life was not easy.
I’ve spent the last few years focusing on relationships and obsessing on the things I couldn’t change. What I realized was that I needed to focus on myself and where I needed to be at this point in my life. With what felt like a million things on my mind, I laid in bed and thought about the things that I needed to work on. Even though I’m not completely out of school yet, I’ve developed a list of the things I’ve learned so far and I’m sure I’ll learn a lot more before I graduate.
1. You will meet people that will change your life, both good and bad.
I was both scared and excited to meet new people when I first entered my freshman year of college. I definitely believe that everyone you meet in life is there for a reason, whether that person leaves a good experience or a bad experience with you. Either way, you learn something from it. Halfway through my sophomore year of college, I met someone who changed my life for the better by reintroducing me to my faith. I grew up in a Catholic household and completed each level of my religious education, but I found that after I completed my confirmation, I started to drift from the church. It wasn’t that my beliefs had changed, I just found myself focusing on other things.
This person I met reminded me of how important it was to have something to believe in and I think that everyone should have something to turn to when they feel that their world is crashing down. I don’t think I could ever thank that person enough for bringing me back to my faith and helping me learn how to trust God’s path for me. As much as my heart breaks when I lose the people I love or can’t stand the feeling of drifting away from amazing people, I now understand that everything happens for a reason. It’s important to recognize that people may come and go in your life, but the things that they teach you are the things that will stick with you forever.
2. Learning to be social is a good thing.
I was never really outgoing growing up. I spent most of my free time either sitting at home watching TV or drawing. Even while hanging out with friends, I still found myself being quiet and letting everyone else carry the conversation. I became so accustomed to this lifestyle that by the time college came around, I was so painfully shy with meeting new people. It took me a while to find my little group of close friends at school. Being a commuter, I had to work extra hard to connect with people and maintain those friendships when I was on and off campus.
One of my biggest regrets is holding back from the activities that my school has to offer. Freshman year of college, my school offered so many fun activities throughout the week to let students meet new people and have fun to ease the anxieties of school work. Instead of joining in the fun like all of my classmates, I went home, sat on the couch, and moped. I envied all of my friends who were out having fun, but yet I still chose to stay home. It didn’t make sense. Finally, I started pushing myself to get up and go out ,and guess what-it worked. Even though I still am shy with new people, I am finally learning that life is better once you step out of your comfort zone.
3. You will learn which friends are the ones to keep.
I’ve never liked the feeling of people drifting from my life. I mean, does anyone enjoy that really? After I graduated high school, I was able to tell which friends of mine were the ones that were going to stay with me and which ones would slowly fade. Those friendships that drift don’t necessarily leave on a bad note, however. People come and go ,and it’s okay if that connection fades.
It’s sad to know that some people won’t stay in your life forever, but that is just a part of life, whether we like it or not. I still like to keep in touch with as many people as possible, but we’re all human; it’s not easy to maintain connections with people you never even see anymore. I am so lucky to have an amazing group of friends that I’ve had since high school and that they still stick by me to this day. You will figure out which of your friends will always be there for you no matter what.
4. Keep yourself busy.
All throughout high school I was a busy bee ,and I never really had the chance to take time for myself to relax. So when I started my freshman year of college, I became extremely lazy and did the bare minimum so that I could lay around and do nothing. What I eventually learned was that I was missing out on so many great opportunities while I was sitting at home. Now being in my junior year of college, I find that I have to work ten times harder to get involved because I stalled from doing so from the beginning. I always thought that being flooded with a bunch of things to do was a bad thing, but it really isn’t. Being busy challenges you and keeps you alert. Also, don’t be afraid to go out and try new experiences because you may find new things that you love to do. You’ll never know of the amazing things waiting for you unless you open yourself up to it.
5. Your mental and physical health come first.
While being courteous and caring to others is a great thing, taking care of yourself has to come first. I once read a quote that stuck to me, “You can’t pour from an empty cup." To me this says that you must make sure that you are whole first because you can give to others. It’s okay to say “no” to favors or other things that people ask of you if you are not fully willing to do it. It’s important to find a good balance in your life, and always keep yourself as the top priority. After all, you are living your own life, not investing it in someone else’s. Listen to your mind and your body.
6. There may be times where you want to give up-don’t.
I struggled a lot with this through school. There were many days where I felt like I was losing control of everything or that everything good that I had in my life was gone. I wanted to just crawl in a corner, be miserable ,and let the weight of the world crush me. What I had to learn is that when you go through those awful times and feel like nothing is going right, you have to get up and keep going.
It’s a hard thing to do, but it’s the only thing you can do. It’s difficult to move forward when it feels like you’re stuck in one place. Life is a beautiful and mysterious thing. You’re not always going to understand it at first, but you will eventually. You have to remember that the challenges you face today will make you a stronger person.
These six things are some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned throughout college so far ,and I know that I will always keep learning as time goes on. College is the time for self-discovery, and you need to focus on finding who you are as a person. While change, especially for me, can be a scary thing, it can also open your eyes to things you wouldn’t have seen if you didn’t relax and let it happen. Be open to change and be open to world, you will thank yourself for it later.
