Letting go doesn’t mean to forget about what has happened to you. Letting go also doesn’t mean you have to forgive everything that has happened to you either.
It’s safe to say that I have grown to understand what my definition of “letting go” is, which is the ability to grow. To grow out and into yourself. To be able to accept where you have been and to grow into who you will become. Holding onto the past will never let you go to where you should be heading, but not learning from your experiences lets you make the same mistakes over and over again.
In my life, I have met people who I have grown with. Whether it is for a few days or a few years, I am one to be completely encapsulated by another person. I find joy in the little moments with someone and often get attached too quickly. I feel the need to understand how someone became who they are, and become completely engrossed into caring for this person. I tend to find myself looking out for them before looking out for myself, which makes it worse when the time comes to part ways.
It is the simple truth that no one ever stays in someone's life forever. Either their goals do not line up, tensions rise within the relationship, or life simply decides to end. The sad reality is that we are taught to believe that we must find the relationships that do last forever: friends, lovers, people that will live with us until we meet our end. This is why we are so hurt when things do not go according to plan. The memories we make with these people will never be taken from us. They cannot be stolen or lost. We are able to keep these memories with us for the rest of our lives, which can be both a blessing and a curse.
What I have learned is that you can’t take away these memories from yourself, no matter how hard you try. I often find myself clawing at my skin to get these memories out of me, to forget. However, that is the thing about growing into other people, they become a part of you. Letting go of a piece of you is never easy. You feel detached, as if you are missing one of your limbs. There is just an empty void of where they should have been. Being lost is common in this situation, and you will do whatever it takes to get them back or to try to forget that they existed in the first place.
I believe that forgetting is not the same as forgiving. To truly let go of someone you must accept the fact that people often part ways in one way or another. If two human beings are meant to be together (whether as friends or lovers) they will find a way to, no matter the situation they are in. Relationships themselves are two-way streets. However, if the two aren’t right for each other, there will come a time to let go. When it’s time to move on, it will be inevitable.
You must be able to grow out of people. Figure out how you go from one place to another. The next step is to grow into yourself, retrace your steps and find out where you lost yourself in the first place.
I will always be eternally grateful for the people in my life who have stayed and those who have left. Each time someone leaves your life you mature a bit. You learn how to become more like yourself from each relationship you make with someone.
Accepting where you are heading is the first step.
