Ever since the new year began in January, I've found myself in different perspectives. I've encountered many changes and a lot of stress that has left me emotionally wrecked, but maybe, just maybe, a bit wiser. It would be quite absurd to call me an adult or anywhere close to it, but I'm not a little kid either. *Cue Britney Spears- I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman* It's this difficult time of being stuck; a period where you can still be a little foolish, but you're also expected to take responsibility for things. I've talked to many real adults who say this is the best time, but I laugh at it while really I'm crying inside because that's not accurate for me. Maybe I'm living wrong? Maybe I'll look back later and be like, I get what they meant while preaching to another 19 year old about a real adult world. I've encounter my fair share of a mid-youth crisis and I know very well I'll have plenty more.
I'm careful to note that I don't want to use depression as that's a serious illness and I don't want to self-diagnose. I'm talking about those voices of doubt circling around while you're trapped in the in-between stage. Maybe it's about your major/career, your love life, not failing. I sometimes forget that it will be okay. You will get through, you can get through. (Time really does heal by the way.) Of course, it's easier said than done, but I found ways that have helped me calm down the doubt. I can only hope that you find this or something else to ease it; to find a way to be nice to yourself, to really love yourself.
1. Never Settle: My sister wrote this on a Post-It note right as she left for New York City. I was about 14, figuring out high school and trying to fit in. I wanted to be this image that never left my head. The problem was that it wasn't really me. I had to maneuver and fight to become the person I was and wasn't ashamed of it. I find myself using this when it comes to relationships, school, work, etc. You shouldn't settle for something that you aren't passionate about. I've found myself stuck because I didn't want to annoy anyone but rather please. Truly, the only approval you need is yourself. It's cliche, but it really is your life, you should live it as you please. No one is in charge except you. (As long as you don't hurt anyone!)
2. Truly learn from your mistakes: This also means not going back and trying it again. It's going to be the same result. I've dealt with this in a lot with relationships. Why is it that I end up running back to the things that hurt me and were clearly a mistake? I know it's not good, I know what it's done before, and yet I can't get enough. Find a way to not let this get the best of you. Use a support system, find a way to remind yourself of why it's toxic. Maybe making peace is what you need. It's healthier on the other side.
3. Change is good: As I'm constantly growing and learning and trying to get it right, I forgot that things will change. The word has sometimes had a negative connotation to it because of the old saying, "if it ain't broken, don't fix it." I've found myself needing to grow even when everything fine. You're going to outgrow things, people, places, circumstances. This could relate to never settling and being where you want to be and doing what you want to do. Don't be afraid to take the step.
I probably sound like those motivation posters hung up in school and possibly workplaces. I don't mean to be, but as I experience more, I can't help but need something to keep me grounded. I need reminders to keep going and be out there. Go be yourself and be kind to them. Go figure out what you like and don't like. Think about all the possibilities you're missing; don't let it go.
