High school was not one of my prime times. I wasn't one of those girls that got invited to everything and I didn't have a lot of friends. For some reason, though, I thought that I should appease to the popular girls and be someone that I wasn't. There wasn't a spot in the community for me (and the type of person that I knew I was) and I believed that creating one was the answer. Boy, I wasted a TON of time and I was DEAD wrong. Looking back, I wish there was a list of things that did not follow the social norms of "living in the moment" for the high school experience. So here are 10 lessons that I learned and I wish I knew that defy that unrealistic notion:

1. Be open-minded

I really wish I was open-minded in high school. High school runs in a very close-minded environment. You follow the rumors and end up judging people based on the popular norm. You also neglect to learn A LOT of helpful tips and tricks for surviving post-high-school because you become the edgy teenager that knows what is best all the time. Keep the space open for conversation of all types, ignorant and non. Listen to what others have to say and learn to either grow based on this newfound information or learn to agree to disagree. Open up to the world of possibilities and you'll find yourself standing at the edge of a forest. It is new and frightening, but inside, there are wonders that are waiting to be explored.

2. Focus on your own problems too.

I was always the friend that gave pieces of myself away in order to complete others. I gave away time, effort, and love to people who ended up leaving me because they grew in a separate direction. It wasn't until senior year that I decided to take my own matters to the drawing board. I needed emotional and mental help. I needed to learn to grow as a person and rid myself of toxic qualities. I should have done that sooner instead of wasting my time watering someone else's plants.

3. Grades do not define you.

The B+ In Chemistry or the 1200 SAT score that you cried about isn't going to secure your fate in being a "nobody". You still have a chance of going to college and reaching the goals that you have set for yourself. Your scores do not depict the destination in which you will go. Of course, you have to work hard and try your best still but allow room for mistakes and growth. Allow space for interpretation. Allow your ventured path to align with individuality; there are thousands of roads that can be taken to arrive at the same destination.

If someone told high school me that I was going to go to the University of Michigan one day, I would have laughed and passively motioned that I was way too stupid to even be considered. Well Cat, those students that achieved over a 1400 and straight A's are your classmates.

4. It's true, family is important.

This one makes me tear up a little bit... Nobody comes from the perfect household. The people you love will wrong you and you will wrong them, but that does not mean that they are nothing. When I was approaching the end of my high school career, I bragged-- yes, BRAGGED-- about disappearing. I told anyone that would listen that I was never coming back to this town and I was never going to talk to any of my family members unless they spoke to me. It hurts me to admit that I even said such a thing.

Family has proven to be the most important part of my adult life. When I have a mental breakdown in the bathroom stall, I call my mom or Grandma and cry to her. I look forward to receiving text messages from my dad that ask me, "how are you?" and "did you eat today?" (sigh, the reality of college is missing out on meals or settling for 85 cent ramen). I find myself missing the annoying laughter of my sisters, too. I miss all of them all the time, and I wish I realized that they are the ones that are going to catch me if and when I fall. I wish I treated them better.

5. LEARN HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS

Since I started at community college and had a few friends that did the same, I had the opportunity to witness a devastating phenomenon that I could prepare for without actually living through it. A handful of my high school peers found transitioning into a big university difficult and I saw all of the sad tweets. Even now, a few of my facebook friends post about not being able to find friends and whatnot. Dodge the bullet and put yourself out there when you are in high school. Learn how to make friends from other schools and at student programs like Youth In Government. When you arrive at college, you will have socialized yourself enough to make friends that aren't just friends with you because you have to see them five times a week.

6. Football games and dances are not everything.

This is pretty self-explanatory. If you don't go to all of the football games like all of the other kids and don't get invited to a dance by a handsome prince(ss) on a horse, don't sweat it. Go to the dance alone or with a group of friends, stay home and study, or catch up on sleep. Do what you want to do, not what other people THINK you should do.

7. Reach out to those who are struggling mentally.

Focus on your own self-growth, but be wary of your surroundings. Just because you are driving your own car doesn't mean you are the only one on the road. Look at your surroundings and help one another. Pull over if you witness a car accident and call 911 for them, metaphorically and realistically. This will not only help someone, but you will either gain life experience or a friend. Do what's right.

Speak up against bullies, ask someone if they are okay, and be a good person.

8. Don't just date 1 or 2 people.

Although I am happily engaged now at a young age, I wish I didn't waste my time dating the same guy for two years and isolating myself in high school. I could have met some really cool people if I didn't spend my time going home and facetiming my long-distance ex-boyfriend who didn't give me a different option, every single day. After he and I broke up, I met all sorts of people. I met my best friend while playing Pokemon Go at 10 PM. I met friends that call me at random times of the day to tell me that they are thinking of me. I met other men and women -- that I went on dates with-- that showed me parts of myself that I would have never found out if I didn't set myself free.

Get to know all the different types of people out there. Go out on dates without being in the "talking" stage or label. Go out as friends. Learn from each other. Figure out what you would like in your future spouse and what you wouldn't like. Understand love and loss.

9. Adventure outside of your city.

This lesson isn't one that applies to me, per se... Most of my friends have traveled to either side of the country; one went to California and the other went to Rhode Island. I am very lucky that I discovered at a young age that traveling to a new city and making new friends is essential. I'm pretty sure this is what kept me sane when everyone branched off to live their adult lives. I am able to throw myself into a foreign area and survive. I know how to drive around roundabouts, recognize the best locations to have great food, and what it is like to be best friends with a stripper. I discovered all of these enlightening experiences and all I had to do was get in my car and hit the road.

10. Say "Fuck you" more.

Lastly and most importantly, I wish I learned how to say "fuck you" more (sorry mom. I know you don't like it when I use profanity). When I was being made fun of in high school, I wish I uttered a simple "fuck you" and went about my day instead of circling back and crying about it. In the morning, I wish I said "fuck you" to my depression and disciplined myself to get out of bed on time. I wish I said "fuck you" when the kids in high school sought revenge through hacking my twitter account and changing my twitter handle to "Asian Whore". I wish I said "fuck you" when word got out that I had lost my virginity and I was judged for it. I wish I said "fuck you" when a girl confronted me for being friends with this guy that her friend had dated, and proceed to say "fuck you" when she implied I was the slut of my school. I WISH I said “fuck you" when I was told that I was worthless and should do everyone a favor and kill myself already. But I didn't. I didn't say "fuck you" and I spent most of my time crying and allowing others to stomp all over me. I didn't stand up for myself when it counted the most, and for that... I say "fuck you".