During "Halloweekend", my favorite thing to do (besides leaving parties early) was eavesdropping, er, I mean overhearing, other people's conversations. Needless to say, it was very entertaining, so I decided to share them with you.

1.The super helpful:

*Clearly not sober Jessica in heels falls into the road*

Basic #2 while sitting: "Jessica! Jessica! Jessica!

*Car nearly misses Jessica*

Basic #2 while still sitting down: "Oh my God, Jessica come back!"

2, Someone’s “friend”:

“See this is why no one wants to date you, it's cause you are such a FUCKING BITCH!”

3. Stereotypical straight white bros:

“Yo I’m fucking gay!”

"You are so gay!”

"I just came out of the closet, it felt GREAT”

4. Masshole #6,700,000 to Masshole #6,700,001:

*one hand on the car horn while other hand flipping the bird* "Fuck you, motherfucker!"

5. Culturally relevant sorority girls:

*Sings* “...to train them is my caaaaaaause! I will, something something idk the lyrics, THE POWER THAT’S INSIDE! POKEMON!”

6. Group decisions:

"*sigh* I don't know..."

"I mean go ahead, if you want to look easy."

"Look, you should do whatever you want to do that will make you happy right now."

"You know what, no, she's right."

7. Random Besties:

“So I got to the guy right, and I, like, accidentally gave him my real ID and I was like freaking out but he let me in anyway.”

“Ugh, you are so lucky. I tried to use my sister’s fake because she looks like me, but it got taken. Lol, her loss though.”

8. And lastly, the smartest thing I heard all weekend:

“I am not waiting on this long ass line I'm going to fucking bed and snuggling with my teddy bear.”