Every student's favorite time of year, time to go home for the holidays! But only after the excruciating pain and suffering we know as finals. We all know what its like, and we all love to commiserate over our pain during these strenuous times. So in the midsts of all the panicked studying, here's your quick study break.
1. You're a murderer.
TREE KILLER. Do you see how many pages I'm printing out for this?
2. You say things you don't mean.
Wait, we have a final paper and a final exam? Not that it defeats the purpose of "final" or anything...
3. You promote starvation.
Are we not supposed to eat during finals week? What's with the “special hours” that are virtually nonexistent?!
4. You make it so I can no longer lie to myself.
Apparently studying by osmosis isn’t a real thing… damn it.
5. You nurture suffering.
They call it dead week for a reason. We all look like zombies.
6. You make me question myself.
Making us think we actually are dead… or at least wondering how in the world we are going to get through this next week. Does vacation even exist?
7. You tell me lies.
What? Sleep is an unnecessary social construct? I think there’s science to the contrary…
8. You are detrimental to self-esteem.
Numbers do define us. You can't tell people that numbers don’t define them when our entire education system is based on exactly that!
9. You take my dreams from me.
Home isn’t actually real. Along with the unicorns and my pet brontosaurus.
10. You encourage emotional and mental instability.
How am I? Oh, I'm just on the verge of a mental breakdown because I'm stressed out of my mind and I dropped my pen.
11. You steal our souls.
Really I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't have the time to know that, maybe my soul will come back after finals. Maybe.
And I'll leave you with a dash of hopefulness:
