There has consistently been backlash against feminism, with many claiming it as an issue that does not need our attention anymore. Many are hesitant to give themselves the label because they have the misconception that feminism must be radical. Many believe that being a feminist means that you must hate men, that you automatically assume that women are superior. Or they assume that it is an empty label, that there is nothing left for women to fight for in modern countries. However, the real misconception is that feminism is a cause for the past, or a cause seeking to establish an oppressive matriarchy. The need for feminism is more prevalent than ever. Here are some examples of things that women still hear, and why the label 'feminist' is one that we should all be able to identify with.
1. "Success is a sacrifice"
Women are reminded/told more than men what they must give up to be successful. The primary job for women in the past has always been to care for others - their family, the community, etc. Even if a woman does choose to settle down and have kids, the time that she continues to use to build herself and/or her career up can be considered selfish. If not viewed negatively, it is viewed with pity: "It must be so hard for you to tear yourself from your family like that." Here we see the underlying assumption that the overarching and sole source of happiness for a woman is to be a mother. If a woman chooses not to have children and instead focus on her professional life or life without children, she also is often viewed with pity. In our society there is the assumption that the end all be all for women is to settle down and start their own families. How often do we remind men what they must be giving up when they advance themselves?
2. "Being alone is sad"
A woman in her 30s without a partner or children is almost always considered an object of pity. There is the idea that she did something wrong, that her life has not gone to plan and now she is someone which deserves sympathy. There is the unconscious conviction that if a woman is not wed, it is not because she has made a set of active choices, but rather she has not been selected - chosen, desired, or valued enough. Men that remain single at this age can be considered "bachelors" while women are often considered "spinsters" and we assume that there is something wrong with them.
3. "There is a time limit for you to find happiness"
Yes, women do face a biological reality regarding birthing age. Therefore, it is assumed that if a woman has not settled down and established herself with a family by the time she is 40, her life is over. However, in this perception we again assume that there is only one way for a woman to be happy. There is only one life that women may find fulfilling. We ignore that women may choose to not have children, or that they may adopt children. There are countless ways in which a woman may choose to define her livelihood and happiness, yet she must push against the grain of societies pity. Her happiness is an act of rebellion, something that must be continually proven.
4. If you choose to have sex outside of a conventional relationship you are either "easy" or "progressive"
The sexual liberation movement has made much progress, yet women still face stereotyping regarding their sexual endeavors. Women are told that if they choose to have sex then there are implied rules that they should follow. If you have sex too soon, men will not respect you and you will not find a relationship. If you wait too long you are a prude and again, men will not want you. If you sleep with too many men you will be negatively labeled. On the other hand, if you are lucky enough to be somewhere without negative judgement, people will often refer to the woman as 'sexually liberated' and view it as something that is progressive. Woman cannot enjoy sex and sexual behavior in the same way that men can. There are still an implied set of rules and behaviors that women still are told they must follow if they hope to find respect and a healthy relationship.
5. "You are allowed to be emotional"
We still live in a society in which we tell men that they are not allowed to be emotional or sensitive. On the flip side of women being told that they must sacrifice to be successful, men are held up to a standard in which their masculinity is judged by their successes. Men are told that they must be successful, and there are only certain ways in which they can do it. Many jobs are still considered to be 'for women' and men face judgment if they hope to take them. Men are told that they cannot be the caregivers in families. Men are told that they must bottle their emotions and be the strong ones. Men are continuously not taken seriously in cases where they are sexually harassed or assaulted. People often forget that feminism is as much of a men's issue as it is a women's.
