Many years ago I battled a depression that swallowed me whole. The same phrase that I kept hearing was “it gets better”. I can’t help but look back on that and shake my head. Over the years I have made it through plenty of hardships. I have gained so much while losing so much. It occurred to me something very important. Things don’t “get better”, you get better.

Life is a reoccurring challenge. Whether it’s a new job, losing a loved one, or possibly going through the long college years. Life can sometimes consume you and ruin your perspectives. As you continue through this challenge, you grow as a person. You learn how to adapt to what you are going through. Coping skills and strength are gained while you keep charging. Soon you look back on that phase in your life and smile at how small it was. But that doesn’t mean it got better.

You can’t just wake up one day and see that magically you’re happy again. It’s a process that you go through at your own pace. It’s achieved with courage and hopefully help from any support system. It comes from you. You are the reason that you can smile now. Maybe circumstances have changed and you are no longer facing that situation but you will always deal with the impacts of that event.

I often chuckle to myself after hearing the same "people don't change" argument because we do change. We have to change. In certain circumstances, it's a given to adapt to survive, even if it is for the worst. We learn how to deal with our challenge without even noticing it ourselves. We find strength while going through our sometimes silent hell. Maybe we find religion or maybe even the depth of love from family that we didn't know was there.

Life isn't easy. It's a pain, it's difficult, and it's crazy beautiful. The more we live, the more we learn. Each of us finds our own sanctuaries, just like each of us discovers a way to cope with life's troubles. You will have constant battles with yourself and the world, but that doesn't mean life is miserable. It means you have to find what makes life worth continuing for you, what makes you want to wake up the next morning. I guarantee you that some mornings you will be unhappy, just like I can promise you that some mornings you will wake up completely content or unbearably happy.

Remember that you can make it through anything. Find your light, set your goals, and keep on going. Each battle we win is another chance to see how amazing we are. Things are not easy so we can grow as individuals and find who we are supposed to be or where we should be. So the next time someone tells you that "things will get better", shake your head and confidently reply, "No, I will get better".