They keep telling me "You'll be OK."
I hear the same three words every day, the same three words that everyone says and it magically fixes everything, but it doesn't. It doesn't heal my broken heart, or the scars that I carry around with me. Im not OK. What if Ill never be OK?
Tuesday
All they do is temporary heal my pain. They put band-aids over all the wounds that I carry around with me, but they aren't really fixing them. I don't think they understand that the pieces that have broken off of me can't be put back together, to make my life the way it once was.
Wednesday
The further it gets into the week the harder it gets to get out of bed. They are making me talk about my feelings now, about what is going through my head. All I could manage to get out of my mouth was "I'm not OK," but they don't seem to understand how bad I'm hurting. I was never really good enough for anyone, and it hurts me everyday that I'll never be good enough for someone.
Thursday
My friends came to visit me today. It made me get out of bed and try and be OK, but it didn't work. I turned back around and went back to my bedroom and laid back down in bed. They tried to come and see me, but they knew they couldn't help anymore. I eventually got out of bed and slowly walked over to my mirror and just looked at the girl looking back. She looked sad... you could tell she was sad. Her green eyes just shared a sad story whenever you looked into them, they spoke louder then any words she has ever said. She tried, really hard to smile, but as soon as she lifted the corner of her mouth she looked back up at herself and her eyes fell sad again.
Friday
It's getting better. This morning I woke up all by myself, earlier then usual. I woke up in enough time to watch the sun rise outside of my window. Eventually they found me sitting outside just staring into the bright summer sun, my eyes just wondering to try and find an answer to what went wrong.
Saturday
Today. Today all those scars and broken pieces that I have been carrying around with me have finally healed. I guess those bandaids have finally pieced my life back together. Honestly, it's a miracle, but it's really a miracle that all this time my heart and wounds are finally mended back together. Maybe, just maybe I am going to be OK..
Sunday
Today, I'm me. I am OK. Im healing. Everything does get better.
"And if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself, get a mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer because there's something inside you that made you keep trying, despite everyone who told you to quit. You built a cast around your broken heart, and signed it yourself. You signed it, they were wrong."
