Cancer. It’s a simple, six-letter, two-syllable word. Six letters that change your life forever. Whether you’re diagnosed with cancer or a loved one, a friend, a teacher, a neighbor, or anyone, cancer changes your life.
Cancer always seemed like such a far off concept to me. It happened to people, I knew that. But it didn’t happen to us. My grandpa had three different types of cancer before I was born and survived all of them and that was about as close as cancer ever hit to my family. Until one day after school when my mom pulled me and my sister aside. My mind raced trying to figure out what we had done wrong and what we were going to get in trouble for. “Girls, grandma has cancer.” All of a sudden all the worries that had just flooded my mind seemed so miniscule. My mom’s mom had cancer. My grandma had cancer. I was old enough now to know what this meant and to know the fight against cancer wasn’t a pretty one. But watching my grandma fight cancer, she made it seem like a walk in the park. Grandma never showed her struggle and she never looked sick. That’s when cancer taught me my first lesson.1. It happens to everyone. That means you.
Image Caption: Me with my mom & grandpa -- both cancer survivors -- at our first Relay for Life event. My mom was just one week post-mastectomy and her hair was actually a wig thanks to the chemo
My childhood idea that cancer happens to everybody except us was wrong. Cancer will keep hitting closer and closer to home until it uninvited shows up at your front door, welcoming itself into your home. There’s no escaping cancer nowadays with one in every two people facing cancer in their lifetime. It’s a harsh reality that we can’t prepare for in any way but we learn that we are not victims to this disease and we are not alone in the fight.
2. Strength
No matter who cancer affects it teaches them strength. As a cancer fighter you’re learning to get through the day. From losing your hair to having chemicals pumped in your body to feeling so sick you can’t get off the couch for weeks, these are all harsh realities cancer patients face. As a caregiver, friend, or family member of a cancer patient, you learn to be strong for your cancer fighter. It’s so incredibly hard watching somebody you love become so sick and somehow you have to put one foot in front of the other and continue making it through the day.
After my grandma was diagnosed with cancer it started hitting closer and closer to home. Next my piano teacher, then my next door neighbor, and finally it was in our home.
It was a typical Sunday morning my junior year of high school. We had gone to church as a family and my mom was making us breakfast. We all gathered around our kitchen table and half way through the meal my mom said she and my dad had something to tell us. We were leaving in a couple days to spend Thanksgiving on the east coast with family so I assumed it was travel details and didn’t look up from my breakfast.
“I have cancer.”
All the sudden my waffles tasted like sandpaper as my entire mouth ran dry. I looked up from my plate waiting for a punch line to some sick joke but the only punch I experienced was the one I felt in my stomach when my mom repeated those words, “I have cancer.”
My mom started chemotherapy just before Christmas 2013 and my sister and I cut and donated our hair as our Christmas gift to our mom as she lost her hair to cancer. It was so incredibly hard seeing the woman who did it all get so unbelievably sick.
3. Time is your best friend and worst enemy.
Image Caption: Our first Relay for Life event. This picture is featuring my grandma. Little did we know at the time but at our next annual Relay for Life event we would be remembering her as someone who lost their battle with cancer.
You want to know how long you will have left with your loved ones if they aren’t going to beat cancer. The downside is, forever will never be long enough. How can you pack years of memories that have yet to be had into just a couple months? Doctors are also so frequently wrong about how much time is left and that makes it even harder when they were taken before your time was up or when it become a waiting game of when the cancer will take them. You’re always thankful for another day and more time with them but you know it can’t last forever.
Shortly after my mom had her reconstructive surgeries and finished chemo, my other grandma was diagnosed with cancer. She went in for a simple procedure and the doctors could not get their instruments around in her body because she was so filled with cancer. The doctors told us she had six months to live and that she would get to see me graduate high school and hopefully start college. She passed away a month after this prognosis on December 13, 2014. The sequential date of her passing (12-13-14) has always been very significant to my family and I because it’s a rare occurrence and she was the type of person you meet once in your life and they change your life for the better.
4. Faith
Not everybody has a religious background or even religious beliefs; however, if cancer can be so powerful it can help put one’s heart at ease knowing there is something even more powerful than cancer- God. The comfort of knowing your loved ones are no longer suffering and are with their Creator is helpful, especially in the midst of a loss. It’s important to remember that even though the world lost a fighter, Heaven gained an angel.
When my grandma passed away I was so confused, hurt, and angry. She was only in her seventies and she had been so healthy and so happy and all the sudden cancer came out of nowhere and took her away from us. We weren’t ready for her to go. I found lots of comfort in prayers and I learned to turn to God to get me through.
5. Community
Image caption: Luminaria bags lined the track at Relay for Life. Each bag is in memory of one person who lost their fight against cancer and candles inside the bag are lit before a lap of silence takes place.
When cancer hits, people come together. When my mom had cancer we had different friends, coworkers, teachers, neighbors, family members all bring us food since my mom was too sick to cook. If we needed a ride, there was someone there to provide it. If my mom needed someone to take her to a chemotherapy appointment, she had dozens of volunteers to choose from. So many people are affected by cancer that when they hear of someone who is newly diagnosed or currently battling, they jump up and are ready to help join the fight against cancer.
6. Motivation
Image caption: Our second Relay for Life event! This picture features one cancer fighter and one cancer survivor!
Cancer has taken so much from so many people and that’s not right. There’s so many types of cancers out there and so many different treatments but no cure. This motivates people to make a change. There’s so many amazing organizations out there such as the American Cancer Society who put on events where people can come together and help fight cancer, support patients, and remember those who lost the fight. Some of these events include Relay for Life, Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, Make a Wish, and so many more. It’s not hard to get involved and get fighting back against cancer.
7. Fight
8. Togetherness
Image caption: Family togetherness, just two month after mom's completion of chemotherapy and surgery. Spending time with our cancer survivor!!
At the end of the day there is no place I’d rather be than hugging my cancer victim. For some people that’s entirely possible and for others it isn’t. We learn to appreciate who is in our lives while they’re in it because you never know when they will be taken away from you, sometimes much too soon. Being able to come together as a community and support others who have had their lives changed by cancer has been such a life changing experience, especially through events such as Relay for Life where a whole city comes together for 24 hours and just focused on what we can do to end cancer forever.
Cancer is a disease that has taken so much from people all around the world. But it has also taught us so much medically, emotionally, and spiritually. Cancer is not something you would wish on anyone, even your worst enemy, but when it is the card you're dealt you learn to play the game. There's so many ways to support patients, remember victims, and embrace survivors and to join the fight against cancer!
