As someone who has worked as a waitress for well over two years now, I have plenty of experience in the public service industry. I've met the most patient and understanding people; I've also met some people who think I have 12 arms, can teleport, and read minds. Sadly, I can't and until I find a server who can, here are 15 things that aren't your server's fault:
1. The Wait
Generally, restaurants employ a host/hostess who greets people at the door and takes them to a seat in a timely manner. The fact that the restaurant is packed because it is prime dinner time on a Friday night and YOU didn't call ahead is not their fault, nor your server's. I promise no one is nearly as thrilled as they seem to listen to you complain for a consecutive 10 minutes.
2. The Temperature
I understand that you may think it's 10 degrees below freezing in here, but I promise every employee is sweating profusely while running to get your refills. Kindly bring a jacket next time. *soft smiles*
3. The Loud Table Of Teenage Boys
Yes, they are being very loud. No, I have not told them to quiet down because then I will lose a tip from them for being "rude." Going out to eat does mean you will, in fact, have to see and interact with other human beings. Shocking news, I know.
4. The Baby That Is Screaming
Okay, I am guilty of this bothering me whether I am working or eating out. However, it's not the server's fault. Please feel free to shoot dirty looks at parents who ignore screaming babies, though.
5. Pepsi Versus Coke Products
The amount of grief I have been given over which soda products a restaurant carries is baffling. Yes, I indeed have been told to run down to a store and buy a bottle of "cherry vanilla diet zero calories twist of lime pepsi" or whatever. Sorry sir/ma'am, I have about five other tables shooting me dirty looks at the moment. Maybe next time, though.
6. The Prices
Unless your server is also the owner of the restaurant, then please don't ask why the steak costs $34. I don't know the ins and outs of the boss's income, I'm sorry. I've heard McDonald's has a new Grand Mac for like six bucks though!
7. Your Indecision
It never seems to fail that the same table that is annoyed that you aren't there as soon as they are ready to order is that same table that forgets to pick two sides. This table then proceeds to take five more minutes debating between a house salad, sweet potato fries, and asparagus while the server stands there clicking their pen.
8. The Fact That You Are A Binge Drinker
Just because you can down a beer/soda/water in 0.2 nano seconds does not mean that you waiter can get you a refill in the speed of light. There are other people with other needs. Be considerate.
9. The Speed Of The Bartender
When you aren't sitting at the bar, your server has absolutely ZERO control over how long it takes for your Bloody Mary to be made.
10. When Something Is Out Of Stock
When the day comes that the kitchen manager has to serve tables, I will be inexplicably happy. Mainly because our jobs are supposedly "so easy," and one shift will change their minds. However, in this case, you could finally complain and yell as much as you want to the person whose fault it is when you can't have your precious chicken parmesan.
11. The Temperature Of Your Steak
The odds of you winning the power ball lottery are higher than the chance that your server is balancing a six table section AND cooking your steak at the same time. We are sorry it's not medium like you asked; please don't stiff us because of something so completely out of our hands.
12. Your Lack Of Identification
Oh, it's in the car? Accidentally left it at home? Waiting on it in the mail? Unless it is in my hand the moment you are ordering your vodka and cranberry, I promise you that you won't be getting it. I don't know any server who wants to risk jail time, loss of liqueur license, and their job that pays their rent for you to enjoy a drink underage. Better luck next time, bud.
13. When The Big Game Isn't On The Screen
Every server is entirely too busy getting extra ranch and whatever else people want to pay attention to the television. And they definitely don't have the time to scroll through 1000 channels to find it. Go to Wild Wings.
14. You Can't Handle Your Alcohol
When we overhear you talking to your equally drunk friends about driving home, don't be surprised when we cut you off. Fun Fact: If you wreck on the way home, your server will be charged for supplying you with that alcohol and will most likely see jail time. We also want you to be safe!
15. Finally, Your Bad Attitude
It is not our job to deal with rude people. Sadly, we still do every single day. And we do it with a smile on our face. If we can be pleasant to someone who does all of the above, the least you can do is tip the expected 20% and be a decent person for the hour that you are there.
Sincerely,
All servers.
