I've been an Indian for 17 years (and will be for the rest of my life), so there are a number of questions I've been asked about being Indian. The following is a series of questions and statements I've actually been asked or told in the past, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has been faced with these statements. So without further ado, grab your Indian friend(s) because here are 21 things that all Indian people have heard at one point or another.
1. "So is cricket just the Indian version of baseball?"
Or maybe baseball is the American version of cricket. But let's be honest, everyone plays cricket. It's just America who plays baseball.
2. "Did your parents have an arranged marriage? *GASP* Will you have an arranged marriage?"
Why do you care?
3. "You're not a 'real' Asian."
That's like saying a Mexican person isn't North American just because he or she isn't Caucasian.
4. "Are your parents: doctors, engineers, lawyers or 7/11 owners?"
5. "Are you vegetarian? Is it because of your religion?"
6. "You must be seriously good at math."
7. "So there's this Indian person at my work. His name is [insert name], so do you know him?"
Oh yeah! So there's this American person at my school, and her name is Sarah. Do you know her?
8. "Sorry, but can I eat beef in front of you?"
Yes, of course! Can I eat my salad in front of you?
9. "OMG, is that curry? Can I try some?" or "Ew, what's that smell?"
10. "Does the caste system still exist? What caste are you?"
I kid you not when I say my teacher asked me this.
11. "Man, I love Gandhi."
Touche.
12. "Aren't Bollywood movies just romance movies with dancing?"
13. "Samosas, man. They're the best."
Great, but you saying this to me — an Indian — doesn't make me more inclined to like you.
14. "Ohhhh, so the loud noises from last night were for your Indian Christmas holiday."
I was in 7th grade when my Korean friend actually called Diwali the "Indian Christmas holiday." Safe to say I don't talk to her anymore.
15. "Are you from the North or South?"
I'm from the West. Don't generalize us.
16. "All you guys use is WhatsApp."
17. "Maggi is basically Ramen for Indians."
Or is Ramen basically Maggi for the Japanese?
18. "Do you speak Hindu?"
Yep, along with Christian and Jewish.
19. "So you'll be there by 6:30 right?"
Hah, you're funny. You've obviously never heard of Indian Standard Time.
20. "I love that pretty dot you wear on your forehead."
It's called a bindi.
21. And, of course, the typical: "What's the difference between you and an Arab?"
Well, for one, the geography. The rest I'll leave for you to figure out... eventually.