One Thing My Parents' Divorce Taught Me
Relationships

One Thing My Parents' Divorce Taught Me

"I was able to see how my mom was right, and I was able to see how my dad was right"

31
Maarten van den Heuvel

Hello, Mom. Hello, Dad. I know you are both probably reading this, but don’t worry, it’s fairly positive, and if you don’t agree with the negative parts then you have been very narrow-minded the past 16 or so odd years.

Every divorce is different—we all know that. All children that have divorced parents, though, seem to have this little bond. I can relate more to them, and they can relate to me even though their parental situation was probably much different than my own.

However, I think many divorced-parents-kids agree to my following point.

My separated parents taught me perspective.

I was allowed to choose between liberal ideas and conservative ideas, as I was exposed to both. I was given the opportunity to choose to cheer for different sports teams. I was able to decide my own stance on religion. I was taught how to deal with life emotionally and then analytically. I had the means to receive varying advice on college and career paths.

I was able to develop my own perspectives and morals—my own way of life.

Dramatically starting things off, my mom would comment something on the current subject of argument, and my dad a different comment. They were simply trying to get me to understand their point. Oh, but by golly they were always right. My dad was always right and my mom was always right.

So, being the child I was—who the hell was right?!

No one.

Each of them usually had valid points—valid perspectives. There was no wrong or right answer, and that’s why it was always such a mess. Not only was it such a mess because of the continuous head-butting perspectives, but I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for myself.

While I realize it was never my job to get in the middle or fight one another’s fight, I always felt like I had to.

I felt like I had to pick a perspective during discrepancies. I was just a kid, though. What did I know?

Well, I knew a decent amount and just kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want my dad’s words to be told to my mom, nor my mom’s words to be told to my dad. My sister and I kept quiet most of the time, and this is why I think I’m not able to stand up for myself in some situations. I wasn’t able to then, either. My sister and I formed a team of two secret keepers, as we only spoke to each other about our parents’ differing ideas. (However, this is all a whole other story).

As I grew older, I realized that my parents were looking at the same problem with two different sets of eyes. I was able to see how my mom was right, and I was able to see how my dad was right.

I have never told them the proceeding information (sorry, mom and dad). After a nasty conflict that had to be taken to court, I was informed by my mom that she had ‘won.’ Later, I was informed by my dad that he had ‘won.’ I was so utterly confused (I still am to this day). What even happened?! Perspective, man.

My parents never, never, did anything to hurt me. Instead, they helped foster my open-mind. I am able to look at politics with an open-mind. I am able to look at people’s arguments with an open-mind. I am able to look at people’s behaviors with an open-mind. The ability to see openly—and to see the many perspectives of diverse people—I believe-- is a very valuable characteristic.

Rarely do I dislike someone. Seeing people for who they are, and where they may come from, makes it very hard to hate someone. Thus, with very little hatred, it is effortless to live positively. It is very easy to live my life with love.

So, I thank my parents for teaching me how to decipher perspectives, and that sometimes, neither person’s perspective is right nor wrong.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

I Started Dating A Guy Before Quarantine, But Now We Rarely Speak Unless I Double-Text

"He's really nice and cute and I like being around him when we see each other, but he's awful at communication."

Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

This Is Exactly What You Should Eat Today In Quarantine, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

You've probably been eating it the past three months,

If we added up all the minutes of my life I've stood in front of the fridge or pantry mindlessly glazing over options, it would probably amount to several years longer than I'd care to admit.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

If You Don't Think People Are Legitimately Scared To Stay In Lockdown, Think Again

People are terrified of what could happen if states stay in lockdown too long.

Coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to be the topic of discussion for most U.S. residents. From federal reopening guidelines to individual state timelines, the country is all over the place. This sparks conversations within the news, social media, and in family homes about the consequences of reopening the country incorrectly.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

If You Don't Think People Are Legitimately Scared To Reopen States, You're Not Looking Hard Enough

People are terrified of what could happen if states begin reopening too early.

Coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to be the topic of discussion for most U.S. residents. From federal reopening guidelines to individual state timelines, the country is all over the place. This sparks conversations within the news, social media, and in family homes about the consequences of reopening the country incorrectly.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Need To Stretch It Out

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

Flexibility is an important part of life. Yes, you need to be able to go with the flow and adjust when needed, but literal, physical flexibility is equally handy. Not only does increased flexibility keep you safe from injury each time you work out, but a good stretch session is incredibly soothing after a long day. Your body goes through a lot! It needs to cool down and get loose after all the activities you put it through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Amazing Things That Happened To Me When I Took Just A Week Off From Social Media

I've taken one-week off social media, and here's what I learned.


You’ll think clearer.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments