Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else? Chances are you have probably thought about what it would be like to be your favorite celebrity, favorite athlete or that one friend you have who's life always seems so perfect. You may have even asked yourself: "what if I was a homeless person, a garbage collector or had no family?" Getting caught up in the what ifs is extraordinarily hard to fend off. It might be useful however to find the answers to those what if questions we have been asking ourselves.
One way we can answer these questions is by developing a sense of empathy. Empathy is understanding and sharing the feelings of another person. It looks like this: A young man has been working out in his father's fields all day. His hands are blistery and the hot sun has been beating down his back making him feel heat exhaustion. He stops working two hours before his day is scheduled to end. The father sees the son starting to rest and believes his son to be lazy. He then barks at him to get back to work. The son fearing the wrath of his father picks himself up and begins to work. After a few moments he begins to feel dizzy, another worker in the field sees the son struggling to proceed with his work. Without hesitation the other worker rushes to help the son carry on. Together under the hot sun they continue to work in the field.
This story may seem simple and ordinary but I believe that it exemplifies empathy in a way we can all relate too. For haven't we all seen a friend struggling to get by in our lifetime? Haven't we all had our fair share of trials and tribulations ourselves? Having a friend there to help makes those burdens that much lighter.
Helen Keller once said: "Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." In the story above the son was fortunate enough to have the other worker empathize with him. Empathy is an action. With empathy you better understand how to serve that person. To walk around in someone else's shoes, to listen and understand their feelings and frustrations is to love them wholly.
Now let's say you really want to put your empathy skills to practice. So you decide you want to find out what it would be like to be homeless, and a solution your friend came up with was to put on dirty clothes, make cardboard signs and pretend to beg for money. Seems a bit strange but you agree with it, because you say to yourself that this idea is the closest thing to really understanding what it's like to be a homeless person.
If you don't understand what is wrong with this idea let me explain. Dressing up like a homeless person is only serving yourself. Pretending to be like someone else does not help the other person in any way. In fact it's downright degrading. Instead of pretending to be someone else another better option could be to actually talk to them like they are human beings, not characters! Empathy is not playing a character for a day. Empathy is sitting a long side someone and sharing their pain, their frustration and their joy. It's not playing a part, it's being a part of someone's life, someone's growth.
A better option could be, that you and your friend go and buy food, clothes and hygienic products for the homeless. When you give it to them you could have a real conversation with them too!
To empathize is to love. Empathy is a real virtue that our world could use more of. I encourage you to exercise the act of empathy. Go and have a conversation with that elder lady buying her groceries, that man sitting outside asking for money. You might just find yourself looking at this life a little differently.
